Men Are Different
Published May 11, 2010 @ 16:01 in Being Mommy, Family and Friends, Loving Daddy
This week we hosted the Year End Hockey Party for my son's select team.
Yes, it was rainy, cold and miserable. However, as eight year old boys don't seem to be detrimentally affected by the weather, they still played outside for most of the time.
When it really started raining hard they spilled into the basement to watch a movie. 10 minutes of arguing (Star Trek vs. Avatar) and getting 16 of them to sit down on the couch (we have a really big couch in the basement), only to have the power shut off. DRAMA! The kids don't care - they ran back outside until the food was ready.
The dads were funny. Ten families and 45 people came. The dads walked in the door, a few with coolers full of beer, sat down in the living room, and stayed until it was time to go. We moms putzed around the kitchen, of course, putting out the food and drinking wine.
The kids' young coach arrived. He is 21, and just loves hockey and kids. He showed up with a few boxes of donuts, and like a non-parent, fed the kids the donuts before we had real food. He is a great guy who then headed into the living room to drink beer and hang with the dads.
When he left, the dads all started talking about him. They were talking about what a responsible, mature, personable young man he was. Then one dad said, "I can just imaging the great sleeps that guy has!"
Pardon?
"He probably just woke up an hour before he got here!"
"I'll bet he doesn't wake up three times a night to go pee."
"He can probably nap anytime he wants!"
This was a shock to me. First of all, obviously these dads are much more middle-aged than I thought. Second of all, of all the things to envy about a hot, young, single, carefree 21 year old - the sleep????
What about the freedom? The great body without working out? Eating what you want? Staying out all night? Not getting hung over? Sleeping with young, equally hot women?
Nope. They envy the sleep.
You can bet that if we women were so inclined as to talk about a hot young women, I don't think we would be envying her sleep. Her high, perky attributes... her freedom, her male companion options (and their hot bodies)... not being able to sleep through the night without getting up to go pee three times. Seriously.
Damn it! I am realizing that my husband, and his friends (fellow dads) are middle aged. That means that I soon will be middle aged!!!! Ugh!
Pretty soon I am going to become envious of the retired folk...
 Article Permalink  0 Comments
Happy Belated Thanksgiving!
Published October 13, 2009 @ 09:25 in Family and Friends
Was your weekend crazy busy? But wonderful and fun and full of thanks? Yeah? Mine too!
There are so many people who I am thankful for being in my life. Family, friends and even kind and generous strangers who make life good. Health, comfort and books (hey, I can be thankful for books, can't I?) I am also thankful for good teachers, my cat, and hockey (except the Leafs.)
Turkeys are wonderful. Hams were great too. I love sweet potatoes, gravy and veggies. But let's be honest - who really likes pumpkin pie? Gross, isn't it? I swear people only eat if for the whipped cream. I actually have an extra pumpkin pie in my fridge right now. May throw it in the freezer for Christmas.
What's left now? A messy kitchen from my baking, but no leftovers because I didn't host. Next up - Hallowe'en!
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Almost summer!
Published June 12, 2009 @ 19:58 in Family and Friends
Today was beautiful! I have to get back in the habit of sunscreen, as the kids and I played in the backyard for a little after lunch and I got a bit of sun.
It is going to be quite the summer. The kids have only 9 more days of school left, and then 10 1/2 weeks of summer! That is a lot of time to fill. You can see their moods changing, as they move from the routine of class work into outdoor play days and games. Some activities are starting to finish up, and I even feel myself relax about bedtimes already, and worry less about rushing around.
This is one of my favourite photographs from last summer. Me and the kids fishing on a dock in Muskoka. No, I actually don't fish, but the boys could sit there all day and not care if they catch anything. Last summer they actually caught a few northern pike in that lake, along with many sunfish.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Family Portrait Day
Published June 8, 2009 @ 08:14 in Family and Friends
For my in-laws 40 Wedding Anniversary last fall, we (all of their kids) bought them a family photo. It has taken us nine months to get together for the photograph, and still one family member was missing.
I suspect that this will be the last photo we take with everyone, at least for a few years. Yes, it was that painful. Unfortunately, Son Two really doesn't like to co-operate. We explained that his insolence was causing pain to the 14 other people in the photo, but he didn't care. He just didn't want to look at the camera and smile.
To be fair, we were there for a long, long time and he is just five. However, his three year old sister managed fairly well.
Son Two asked for us to take him to Chuck E. Cheese if he looked at the camera and smiled. I think that we need to see the proofs before we take him - just to make sure.
Personally, I am not a fan of the posed formal portrait. I used to walk by a few photography studios in the neighbourhood and see the family portraits and remember how painful formally posing was as a kid. We take lots of pictures of our kids, and have many great shots that we can, and sometimes do, blow up and put on the wall. While I think that the formal portraits usually have nice composition, I find that the faces lack the joy that you get from the casual family snap shot. And they don't tell a story.
I am assuming that there is good money to be made by having people pose their children, or themselves and their children. And I know that formal family portraits are nice, especially for grandparents. I just hope that we never have to do that again.
Proofs are ready in two weeks. Keep your fingers crossed for me that something turned out.
Article Permalink 1 Comments
Congratulations Big Sis!
Published May 20, 2009 @ 09:04 in Family and Friends
My older sister is expecting baby number four in October. WOW! She and her husband have three boys; the oldest will be seven in a few days.
Husband has a cousin with four boys. Their oldest will be seven in a few days as well. My younger sister has two kids; her oldest will be three in a few days. Husband has two sisters - the older one has two teens, and the younger one has three children (her middle will be four in a few days). Whenever we have birthday parties, our kids are just allowed to invite a friend or two as by the time we get all of the cousins together, it is enough for two hockey teams! Don't ask about my Visa bill this month with all of the birthdays...
It is fun to see them all together. Some get along better than others. I had four cousins growing up, and only one male was even close to my age - the rest are about 10 years younger. It would be nice to be closer to my cousins, but it is not the same as a same-aged cousin.
When we get all of the cousin's together you see the family similarities, in personality and looks. And they all live within an hour of us, so getting together isn't a problem.
I come from a family of three girls, and Husband has two sisters. When Son One was born, my father exclaimed, "But we only have girls!" Not anymore, Dad. On my side the boys outnumber the girls 6-2. On Husbands, the it is a tie at 4-all.
I think it is fun and important for the kids to grow up with an understanding and appreciation for family, and extended family. We feel lucky and blessed to have such a big family, and for the opportunity to be so close to them. Our kids not only have all of their grandparents, but they have two great grandmothers as well.
Family is great. They can be good for your health. Especially when taken is small doses.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
A Visit to Primrose Trout Farm
Published May 19, 2009 @ 11:03 in Family and Friends, Kids Activities
On Saturday we were invited up to visit a friend's cabin in the woods. On our last visit, my boys were very interested in fishing in their pond. Alas, they explained that their pond was fish-less! We decided to bring them a hostess gift of trout to stock their pond.
On route, we stopped in at the Primrose Trout Farm. We purchased 20 8-10 inch trout for the pond, and carried them away in a large plastic bag nestled in our blue bin.
If you have youngsters who want to try fishing, consider a trip to the Primrose Trout Farm public fishing ponds located at Highways 89 and 10, about an hour from Toronto. They have a catch and release fly fishing pond, as well as other ponds where you and your kids can try fishing and come home with rainbow trout you can eat! Kids under 10 are free, and fishing licenses are not required.
My boys really want Daddy to take them back so they can actually catch fish next time, instead of just buying them. At this time of year the woods around the ponds were filled with beautiful white trilliums, and a few mosquitoes.
At our friend's cabin, we released the 20 fish into the pond. Two of them didn't look too good after the drive, and didn't make it. But somewhere in the pond the remaining 18 are happily swimming along!
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Birthday Party
Published March 26, 2009 @ 14:51 in Family and Friends
Son Two was invited to a birthday party. He is in JK, and it is one of those where the family has booked an indoor playground and invited the entire class.
He does not want to go. When I opened the envelope, I said, "Look! You are invited to a birthday party!" His response was, "I don't want to go."
Son Two has nothing against this child. He said she is nice, but he doesn't play with her. I pointed out that they would get pizza, cake and maybe even a goody-bag. He doesn't want to go.
I have given him a few days to think about it. The answer is still no. I tried to explain to him how nice it was to be invited, and how much people want to include you in their celebrations. No. I called to RSVP that he wouldn't make it.
I am not going to force my child to attend a birthday party. Husband said that the day of he will probably want to go. I'm not planning on mentioning it again. I don't feel the need to point out to Husband that the anti-social behaviour isn't from me - I have never said no to a party. Husband, on the other hand, has played in the same hockey league for twelve years, and last year was the first time that he attended the end of year banquet.
I think it is important for our kids to understand common social behaviours; however, I don't feel the need to force Son Two to attend a birthday party when he is obviously stating a lack of desire, or even a discomfort. And it saves me the $30 I would have spent on a gift.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Sleepover Success
Published March 19, 2009 @ 09:55 in Family and Friends, Kids Activities
The friend had a great time last night! The boys were asleep by 10:30, which I thought wasn't too bad. Husband made them a pancake breakfast.
The guest called his parents last night before getting ready for bed, and they called again this morning to check what time they should come by. This was his first non-family sleepover, and they wanted to make sure all went well.
March Break is coming to an end. So far we have:
- gone to a cottage
- tried skiing
- gone on a Bike ride
- had sleepovers
- saw "Escape to Witch Mountain"
- played outside
I think the highlight was watching the boys try skiing.
How's your March Break been? Are you counting the hours until the kids return to school? Or are you trying to do a few more "fun" activities first?
Article Permalink 6 Comments
First Sleepover
Published March 18, 2009 @ 18:49 in Family and Friends
We have had a few family sleepovers. The kids have gone to my parents, my sisters, and Husband's parents, and we have had cousins sleep here. All have been fairly uneventful, except once when a cousin wanted to leave at 11:30 pm.
Tonight we have our first "friend" sleepover. So far so good. We have eaten pizza, and gone to the video store to pick out movies. We have decided to watch the first movie, then set up the pull-out couch and put on pajamas.
I have main rules for sleepovers - kids are always allowed to phone home, anytime, and they will be driven home on request anytime. I am sure as they grow older, the list of rules will grow longer. Right now it is a given that parents are always home, and that no alcohol will be served, but in the future this will be spelled out.
My fingers are crossed that all will go well. I am looking forward to the night when all of my kids will be at sleep-overs at friend's houses, and Husband and I can rent a movie for just us. Tonight my plan is to put on my pajamas at 9 pm and watch Being Erica. I will leave the kids to Husband to deal with.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Did you miss me?
Published March 16, 2009 @ 19:49 in Family and Friends, Kids Activities
Did you miss me? Did you notice that we were away? For the past three days, we have been at a friend's cottage. It was wonderful.
We don't own a cottage. I am starting to think that we need to make it a condition of friendship with our children - either you have a pool or own a cottage. Both would be great. (Just kidding!)
There is a boy in Son One's class who also plays hockey with him. He has WONDERFUL parents, who invited us up to their cottage for the night. I sort of extended it to two.
Their cottage is beautiful. A cabin the woods, but large and comfortable. Plus, they have a dog - really, what could be better?
The boys took a ski lesson yesterday. Today we all went skiing. Daughter just walked around in her ski boots looking like an adorable ski bunny. She didn't ski. The boys did great! I couldn't believe how quickly they both picked it up. We just did two half days.
We haven't really been invited to a cottage before. There are five of us, so I am sure it was a lot for our hosts. Also, having two families together can be tough, because you all sort of need to get along. I thought we may overwhelm they as they just have one child, but luckily, things really worked out. We had great BBQs, played charades, watched movies, walked along some trails. And there was the skiing.
Daughter wants to go back next weekend. I explained that we have to actually be invited.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Fighting Irish
Published March 1, 2009 @ 09:37 in Family and Friends, My Rules
What do you do about kids who fight?
It frustrates me so much that I want to get in the scrum and knock them all down.
It always starts out so innocently. Standing close to one another, someone's foot swinging back and forth with a little too much enthusiasm.
"Mommy! He kicked me."
What is it about siblings? Is it an expression of love? Trying out their limits with the safety of family members? Watch any litter and you see nipping, rolling wrestling. It all seems to be about developing the social order.
My Husband told me about a friend of his who faught with his brothers on the front lawn and had his mother turn the hose on them. I can't figure out if it is funny or embarassing.
So do we let them go at it and hope that no one gets injured? Is it a rite of passage that we should let them go through to learn how to work things out?
Or should we lay down the law and discipline those who step out of line?
I am confused. All I know is that I am still bigger than all of them, and could take them if I had to.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Traveling with kids - then and now
Published February 26, 2009 @ 13:05 in Family and Friends
When I was young, my parents took my sisters and I to Florida a number of times. It was back when only really rich families flew, so we drove.
My father loved the idea of driving straight there. We had a station wagon, of course. My sisters and I would lay in the back with colouring books and crayons, pillows and blankets. No, there were no seat belts back there. There was no stopping for food - just bathroom breaks. We had a big blue metal cooler packed with hard boiled eggs, sandwich meats, cheese and bread. There may have even been a beer or two in there - but I am not sure.
One year we left the crayons in the back of the station wagon, and they melted. The wax stayed with the car until we sold it, a reminder of our trip.
We are flying to Florida today. I have spent the morning charging Nintendo DSs, syncing iPods, and collecting favourite DVDs. Yes, we have colouring and activity books, and pencil crayons. Snacks. But I don't have to worry about meals, pillows, and bathroom breaks. Son One usually can last about 30 minutes into any trip, before his complaints start.
I have pre-printed our boarding passes, and pre-checked our luggage. We are ready to go!
Not sure if things are simpler now, or more complicated. But I did enjoy those long car trips. Maybe my memory is hazy. Or maybe we should plan one for the summer.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
My turn as the good guy
Published February 18, 2009 @ 15:59 in Around the House, Family and Friends, Loving Daddy
Son One is out in the car. Apparently he is angry with his father. I am surprisingly OK with that, given that it is usually me who faces the wrath of our children.
This year I have decided to be easier on my kids, and try to be more fun. Daddy is always the fun one, but I am realizing how quickly they grow up, and how little certain things matter. Like laundry. A clean house. And well planned playdates.
I used to organize playdates weeks in advance, and ensure that the house was very respectable looking before anyone stepped inside. Then I realized that we were never going to have anyone over if I had to clean the house first. Most kids don't judge you by the neatness of your home, and I've realized that my real friends come to see me, not my house.
Along with scheduling our kids for less, I have been more easy going about playdates. You want to take my child home after school? Sure - just let me know when I need to pick him up! At our house we are developing a more open door policy as well. I want my children's friends to feel welcome and comfortable coming here - more casual, less of a production.
Yesterday after school, one of Son One's friends asked if he could come over. Instead of saying, "no" or "I'll call you mom and plan something for anther day" I said, "Fine, just check with your parents first." He stayed for dinner, they played inside and out, and then I walked him home. It was nice!
This morning Son One asked if another friend could come over. Sure, if it is OK with his parents, I answered. This friend used to be in my son's class; but this year they were separated and miss each other. Unfortunately his father picked him up from school.
For some reason my husband defers playdate decisions to me. He could have called me on my cell to check, if he really wanted to check. But instead he said, "no."
Son One is sitting in the car still. I just waved him and offered a bowl of popcorn. Secretly, I smile. It is nice to be the good guy every now and then.
Article Permalink 1 Comments
Kids are mean
Published February 17, 2009 @ 13:02 in Amazing Kids, Family and Friends, School
Isn't it the worst when you pick your child up from school, and the teacher waves you over for just a minute. My kids are pretty good. They have each been in trouble once at school. But today I got the wave.
Turns out, Son Two, spent the entire morning in the cloakroom at school. The teacher wasn't sure why and he wouldn't say anything to her. He pushed another boy and grabbed his hat. The teacher said he appeared very upset (he does this first clenching / heavy breathing thing when he is angry) so she left him alone.
I am glad that she let him be. He seems to need the time to pull himself together. But she was concerned and didn't know what upset him. She said him came out for snack time, but then went right back.
The first three times I asked, he said that nothing was wrong. So I gave him lunch, then asked again.
Remember the haircut he got yesterday? Well I guess one of the other boys wasn't a fan. As soon as Son Two took off his hat, this child said, "Hey! You're bald!" And laughed.
I don't consider my son that sensitive, but who wouldn't be upset? Son Two is fair, and the hair cut is short. But he actually has a very full head of thick hair.
I called the teacher, who asked me to follow up with her when I found out what was wrong. It was just as she suspected, but the other boy lied and said that he didn't say anything to my son.
She is going to sit down with both of them tomorrow.
All I told my son is that this boy is obviously jealous of how good looking he is. What else can I say? Kids can be mean. I don't understand where they learn it. Or maybe at this age they just haven't developed enough empathy to understand how what they say could hurt someone.
Whatever the reason, I gave my son a big hug and told him that he was amazing and should just ignore this boy. As my Nana used to say, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."
Let's call that today's lesson, shall we?
Article Permalink 5 Comments
Slight bruising and lack of mobility of the neck
Published February 17, 2009 @ 08:26 in Family and Friends
I woke up this morning and noticed that I couldn't turn my head completely to the left. Upon closer inspection I noticed a slight bruising. Hmmm.
Let me me explain what happened yesterday.
We have eight TV remotes. Every second week, after the cleaning lady has been here, you can find them all neatly lined up on the TV stand. Within 48 hours you are lucky if you can find two. I pretty sure that a few of them don't actually go with any of the "components" (like the lingo?)
The world has changed. When I was a teenage, I could figure out how to turn the TV on and off at any house I was babysitting at, and put on a movie.
When we went away without the children last spring, it took me 1 1/2 pages and half an hour to explain to my mother how to put on a dvd for my kids (I think Son One was put in charge). Why all of the remotes? When did TVs become so complicated?
This means that last night, when my sister was visiting, she had no chance of figuring out how to change our set up from Sony Playstation to the TV news.
Picture this - we are sitting on the couch in our basement. My sister and I are sitting on the same couch. I am staring at a crazy snowboarding game repeat. My sister, perhaps frustrated by her impotence at being able to control the TV, picks up the nearest converter and throws it overhand at me.
We are sitting on the same couch.
There was no warning. A "heads up" or "catch" would have been nice.
I wasn't looking at her.
SHE THREW IT OVERHAND!
The converter made good, solid contact with my neck. I am not sure my brother in law has laughed so hard in a long time. This morning I have slight bruising and lack of mobility.
This must be proof that sibling torture continues into adulthood.
On a side note: If I say the words, "Beaver Banquet" what pops into your head?
Really? Not low budget Canadian wilderness porn?
See sister. Get your mind out of the gutter.
Tell me honestly - was your family day this much fun?
Article Permalink 0 Comments
Play-date from Hell
Published February 10, 2009 @ 18:53 in Family and Friends, Kids Activities, School
I always thought that the need to "socialize" our children was a bit of a myth. My kids have one another, cousins, and attend all sorts of activities as well as lots of play-dates. But most people whose children have spent time in daycares laud "socialization" as the primary benefit.
We just returned home from a play-date where Son Two was bit, slapped, pushed, tripped and had his head shoved into a wall by a five-year-old desperately in need of some "socialization." This child is "home-schooled", though obviously too young to really have much need for the "education" component of kindergarten.
Look, I know that my kids have bit or pushed or tripped, but still biting at age 5? Pushing someone's head into a wall? Slapping? As we left with Son Two shouting that he would NEVER return, the child tried to hug and kiss him good-bye (we all know how they feel about kissing in JK!)
I am not quite sure what to do. We have had play-dates in the past that never sunk to this level. Interest was expressed in future play-dates, but I just can't put my son through that again.
Kids need other kids to help learn the rules of how to treat one another. OK, now I am just being preachy - But really, what would Jesus do?
Article Permalink 6 Comments
Jesus takes the ball
Published February 9, 2009 @ 10:13 in Amazing Kids, Family and Friends, My Rules
We chose to send out children to Catholic school. We are not both Catholic, but decided that having Jesus in the classroom couldn't hurt.
We read the bible at home because the kids love the stories, especially the Old Testament. Adventure, destruction, good versus evil; these are good stories.
At this year's curriculum night, Son One's grade one teacher mentioned that they employ a certain strategy to resolve conflicts. They ask them, "What would Jesus do?" OK, so I laughed. I thought they were kidding. Then I decided, why not try this at home?
We have had little success at home with this strategy, but with very entertaining results.
Last fall after school Son One found a ball in the playground. It was a dead tennis ball, no bounce, so I understood why someone had left it there. He and his friends started playing a game with this sad little ball.
Unfortunately, we had to leave for a swim lesson. There were still four friends playing, so I recommended that he leave the ball.
"No."
"Come on," I urged, "leave the ball. We have dozens of good tennis balls in the garage. Plus, you just found it. Let you friends play."
"No."
"What would Jesus do?" I asked. Yes, I actually asked.
"He would take the ball."
"I don't think so, honey. He would want His friends to keep playing even though he couldn't. He would want his friends to be happy."
"No He wouldn't. Jesus would take them ball."
"Really, honey. I think Jesus would want his friends to keep anything He could give them." One of the friends is now crying and screaming that he just wants the ball.
"No. If it is was Jesus' ball, He would take the ball."
OK, now I know I shouldn't have gone there, but I did.
"Honey, Jesus died for all of us one the cross. He didn't even know us but He died for us. He gave us His body and His blood. Jesus gave everything He could to us and His friends, His disciples. I think Jesus would have left the ball."
"I'm taking the ball."
Well, Jesus, I tried.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
So, I yelled...
Published February 6, 2009 @ 23:18 in Amazing Kids, Family and Friends, My Rules
Today I hit rock bottom. I actually yelled at someone else's child.
I yell at my own kids daily. I am not mean, condescending or hurtful. I never call names. Actually, I yell the same thing every morning, but only after saying it six or seven times, "Get your boots and coats on and let's go!"
I actually find that they don't react unless a reach a certain pitch. This must be really bad. It probably means that I am yelling too much, and they are becoming immune to it. Hmmm...
Today I had four kids most of the day. Son One had a friend who for some reason was trying my patience. At one point after he spilled his drink, I snapped at him to put his toy away and eat.
I apologized to him. I apologized to his mom (who seemed not to see the evil of my actions).
I should have gotten a time-out.
Article Permalink 0 Comments
|
Entry Feed