Entry FeedBefore I had children, I already hated parents who talked about "quality time" with their kids. To me, it just seemed like more busy, type A over achievers trying to fit too much into their overly crammed lives and justify how they could still be good parents by scheduling time with their kids. (Similarly, I get super annoyed by parents who claim that their children are better raised by people being paid to raise them, versus the parents themselves.) Touchy subject? You bet!
I am not talking about parents who need to work in order to pay the bills. I am talking about those making well north of the 100K mark each, who try to justify it. Look, I have nothing against working, but I also don't feel that everyone needs to be a parent. But we are all adults and all make our choices. I don't know if you can have everything, but I do know that you can't have everything right now.
My judgment extends to their overindulged offspring who have their parents wrapped around their fingers because they can actually count the number of hours they spend with their children each week, and feel the strong need to advocate on their children's behalf constantly to make up for being hopelessly out of touch.
Quality time is a myth. If you have to schedule time to spend with your kids, you probably shouldn't have had them. If you already have them and are finding it hard to fit "playing in the park" in between your business conferences and your marathon training, maybe it is time to re-prioritize.
Our kids are young for such a short period of time. And already I see how my eldest doesn't really need me any more. In another few years I may find myself made redundant, and then I will need to start looking for a real job once again.
Perhaps I am a worse mother for all of the time I spend with my kids. I would guess that I definitely yell more. And my personal activities are an escape allowing me to recharge my sanity. The flip side is that I am on call for my kids practically 24 - 7 - 52.
But if you think that parenting is something that you can fit in between work, the gym, shopping and time with friends, then you are probably giving your kids a disservice.
My kids are actually reaching an age where I can start to look for some work outside of the home. Admittedly, I will NEVER be a homemaker or a housewife. Blech! I am raising a family, not a house! I don't want to micromanage their lives, their homework, their activities, their laundry, their diets, their friendships. But I want them to know where to find me, and that I am there for them.
I've given up a lot to be a mommy, but it doesn't feel like I've actually lost anything.