The Help
Published April 30, 2010 @ 09:33 in Being Mommy
I just finished reading The Help by Kathryn Stockett.
It is set in the early sixties in Jackson, Mississippi, and is the story of black maids taking care of white families told by the view point of two maids and one young white writer.
I didn't know what to expect before reading this novel, and its recommendation to me was that is was a great read. After finishing the novel, I took a look at some of the reviews online, and I am little surprised by them.
There seems to be this focus on whether or not Ms. Stockett, as a white women, can tell the stories of these black maids. I think that any criticism on this front is a waste.
Personally, I enjoyed the book and found it a quick and easy read. There were no amazing revelations - some maids loved their families and charges, some where well taken care of, some were not.
However, my epiphany with this novel was how we are 50 years later, and nothing has changed.
In my neighbourhood, you could replace "black maid" with "Filippina Nanny" and find yourself in 2010. Some, making barely minimum wage to raise your child (yes, some of admit that there children were raised by the maids, others believed that they were actually raising their children themselves though the maids were doing all of the work.) Doing your laundry, housekeeping and even pulling your weeds and washing your minivan. Leaving their own children to be raised by others so that they can hold these jobs.
Perhaps in Toronto this could be the story of the Filippina nanny in 2010. In other states it may be the story of the Mexican domestic. Removing the backdrop of racial bigotry from The Help, could the same story be told today just exploiting a different bunch of workers?
In the novel, not all maids are treated poorly and unfairly. And many loved the children that they raised. Are we helping our "help" have better lives, or just outsourcing our unloved tasks?
But I am reminded of a day just a few months ago. I sat in my friend's kitchen planning an event while her nanny watched both of our children, getting them snacks and folding laundry while we drank fizzy water and met in the kitchen... This exact scene was repeated so many times throughout the novel.
It raises questions to me... as a feminist about women exploiting other women, or helping them. I just don't have any answers.
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The "back-to-school" Theory
Published April 28, 2010 @ 08:00 in Being Mommy
I am going to call this the "back-to-school" theory, though a subtitle could be "new-stuff, same-old crap!"
You know when you were a kid and it was late August. You got new clothes, new shoes, a new back-pack, and brand new school supplies. This was going to be your year! You would be well dressed every day, well organized, clean locker, homework done well and on time. Everything would be perfect, just because you bought new school supplies. But by the end of September, you were back to your same old messy procrastinating habits.
As adults, we do the same. New journal and pen because I am going to start journaling! Lasts a week before the entries start coming once or twice a week, and then not at all. New running shoes, exercise clothes, and a gym membership. Month; six weeks tops.
Brand new renovated kitchen - $60 K. Because the reason I didn't cook before was because I didn't have granite counter tops and a travertine floor.
Laundry. I have the tools - great tools. A new front loading washer. A new gas commercial HUGE dryer. Still don't want to do laundry. EVER!
Husband used to take care of all of the laundry - his and mine - before we had kids. It was part of my "match made in heaven" philosophy. He didn't cook - I loved to cook. I didn't clean and do laundry - his jobs!
Now, here we are. I just admitted to myself that after ten years of marriage he doesn't love me as much as he used to, back in the days when he used to take care of the laundry, the garbage (my job) and the housework...
It reminds me of a funny story a friend told me of a newly-wed. Both new husband and wife are coming to this union from their parent's homes, never having lived alone nor together. She asked how things would be negotiated, like, "Who will be making the bed everyone morning?" The new-wife answered, "OH! We talked about that, and we will make it together every morning!" Sweet, unknowing smile.
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Funny words
Published April 27, 2010 @ 11:59 in Amazing Kids
This past week I've heard things from the kids, and one from a friend, that have made me laugh out loud.
A friend, at dinner, was asking about my ballet class. She asked about the "pole" we used for exercise. Nope - it is a ballet barre! Made me laugh. It is definitely not that kind of dancing.
Another miss named object came from Daughter, who found extra "sushi-sticks" in the utensil drawer. Ummm... chop sticks?
We have a friend of Son One over for sushi. The is verbatim their conversation at dinner (the friend had never tried Sushi before.)
Friend - "Wow! Who knew Chinese food could be so good?"
Me - "Actually, it is Japanese."
Son One - "Whatever. They speak the same language."
Me - "No they don't."
Daughter made me laugh a few times. She wanted to play Vampire Slayer with me while I was busy checking email. Thinking I was ignoring her (I sort of was) she yelled, "Put the god-damn cape around your neck!"
Son Two also had some good comments this week.
Yesterday we were downtown and he said, "Handicapped people are so lucky! They just have to press a button and we have to push the whole door open." Yes, we had a talk.
On the subway last week he also asked me (loud enough for everyone to hear) "Mommy, are you taking any medicine so that you don't have any more babies?"
Yeah, I bet you are wondering how I handled that one on the TTC, aren't you?
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Movie Party
Published April 27, 2010 @ 08:06 in Kids Activities
Son One wanted a birthday party. His birthdate falls right around March Break, so we have lucked out only doing family parties in the past.
This year, he wanted a big one. Kids from school, kids from hockey, other friends. I booked a Cineplex Birthday Party at Queensway Cinema on Sunday. Yes, a month and half late. Here are my thoughts and recommendations from a movie birthday party - the good and the bad.
- Book well in advance. You need to book at least two weeks in advance, but really think about at least a month if you want a particular date.
- Getting in contact with the manager at the theater was a challenge. I averaged four calls before I had one returned.
- You need to be flexible. Because you book so far in advance, you may not know the movie or time. We booked a party on the 25th from 3-5 (movie start time). We got a call the Wednesday before the movie and found out that the movie would start at 3:40, so we got the party room at 2:10. I recent information to each family.
- We paid for the premium package, $19 a child. They got pizza or hot dog, the kids combo and the movie. Birthday child is free.
- Bring something to entertain the kids before the movie - the theater does nothing but feed them. The room is small-ish, but the sound is terrible and I think everyone ended up with a headache. Both of my boys were crying from the noise.
- They reserve your seats in the cinema, and you get to tell them where you want to sit! Unfortunately, you don't pay until everyone is seated. On a busy weekend like this one, it meant the movie was sold out. Doesn't really effect us with our reserved seating, however the other 19 people who bought tickets before the movie was sold out didn't have seat! Terrible system.
- We saw "How to Train Your Dragon" and it was an amazing movie.
- No set up or clean up for the party, and your house doesn't get trashed!
- They tell you the end time of the movie, so all of the parents were there and pick-up lasted about 5 minutes.
Son One was happy with this party, and at the end of the day, that is all that matters. We had 16 kids, but I would recommend 8-10, just to save your sanity and your ears.
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Wrapping up the busy weekend
Published April 25, 2010 @ 08:33 in Kids Activities
I am sitting at my computer typing while I drink my coffee. Really, I should be baking a few dozen cupcakes...
Yesterday was the last day of hockey house league this season. It was amazing. Both my boys were in the finals of their respective age groups. Yes, Husband is both of their coaches, and while it may be nice to give him some credit, I actually give it all to the kids.
Son Two played first (after lacrosse - where he scored 4 goals - WOW!)
Unfortunately, they lost 4-3. What a game! But the kid cried, and I had to have the disappointment, good loser talk with him. There was a young boy on this team who really wanted to have a chance to play goalie. And Husband, never believing that they would make it to the finals, promised this child a chance.
Look, it is house league. The rules are fun, fun and fun. This boy was so thrilled to have his chance, and he did such a super job! It was upsetting for Son Two to lose. But he is over it. He was actually more disappointed in himself that in anyone else on his team, and he is now claiming that he will never play hockey again. Promises, promises!
Son One's game was great. Son One appointed himself the hero of the game as he scored the first goal, and the winning goal with 1 minute 17 seconds left. Final score, 3-2. Unfortunately, he scored the goal far away from our cheering section, so they were all crediting number 13.
For me, the good news is just that the season is over. YES! It has been a great season, but I am looking forward to the break.
After hockey, we rushed over to MY PLACE, A CANADIAN PUB for our school fundraiser. The theme was "Pints and Picassos" and each class prepared a piece of artwork for silent auction. It seemed to be a success.
What do we have on the agenda for today? Oh - just a birthday party for Son One that is about 7 weeks overdue. The best is that Son Two now wants a birthday party... I think that is 4 months overdue... Can that even be done?
We are taking 15 boys to see, "How to Train Your Dragon." I already have the headache meds in my purse - just in case.
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Big A$$ Calendar
Published April 24, 2010 @ 08:49 in Kids Activities
Managing the lives of a family of five, you need a decent system. Some use their blackberries, some an iphone calendar, others the old fashioned kitchen calendar.
Lost without my details, I was at Walmart yesterday and bought a bristol board, drew my own calendar, and called it, "MAY!" Yes, I also bought one for June.
May is a busy month - we have the usual ballet, gymnastics, speech - and then we add hockey (that never ending sport), lacrosse, T-ball and soccer. Plus, Husband and I are taking a 10th anniversary trip to Italy, there are school assignments and field trips, and parties.
With Husband and I away for 10 days (YES!) I want to ensure that it is crystal clear for those watching out children who goes where, when. This will also help out Husband, who BTW arrived at the wrong arena on Wednesday night for the regularly scheduled hockey practice that hasn't changed since SEPTEMBER!
So, I sat at the kitchen table last night, filling in my full size bristol board calendar, and a friend arrived to take me out. SHE LAUGHED AT MY CALENDAR! She asked if I was planning on hanging it on the kitchen wall when I was done. OF COURSE!
Sure, she's laughing now, but I already know that we are triple booked on Saturday the 15th of May. And May 2nd. And probably every other weekend between now and July...
But I have to remind myself that there are two keys to having a successful calendar... the first is making it, the second is checking it!
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God is in the Details
Published April 21, 2010 @ 20:19 in Being Mommy
In the past, I would never had considered myself a detail-oriented person (I also don't consider myself an extrovert, nor type A for the record).
I like the big picture, strategic thinking, plan - not implement kind of thing. I am terrible at completing projects, because though I love to start things, once the minutia starts I am sick of it and onto something else.
Except, I find in this fast paced world of information, I like things to be accurate. This means planning, double checking, and rechecking again. I hate being caught unaware or off guard.
Look, I am not perfect, but I try my best. And I don't expect perfection from everyone in this world, just the people whom I have to deal with regularly.
Take today, for example. We got home a FULL COLOUR PRINTED invitation to Peanut Lacrosse Select Try-outs, BUT THE DATES WHERE WRONG!!!
Really? Come on! You go to the trouble of printing something to hand out to close to 100 people, and you don't double check the dates? Apparently, no one caught that it should have read TUESDAY April 27th. Now I feel like a moron canceling my babysitter at the last minute.
Now, I have 5 schedules to cross reference and co-ordinate. It is hard enough without dealing with inaccurate information.
But I hate to say it. Accuracy of information seems to be more of an issue when there are men in charge.
I don't know how anything has ever gotten done with men running the world for the past 5000 or so years, but I am sure that it could have all been done a lot more efficiently with moms running the planet. Sure, the obelisks, skyscrapers, and other phallic symbols would never have been built, but I could guarantee that everyone would be eating three meals a day and getting plenty of rest. Plus calendars would be accurate. Too much to ask?
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Hockey House League
Published April 20, 2010 @ 09:13 in Kids Activities
This Saturday is the last day of our hockey house league. Yes, we started mid-September and are still going. There seem to be two seasons to my life - hockey and summer.
Last summer, I agreed to be convenor for the novice house league group. Yep, keeping 140 players and their parents happy from September through April. Luckily, I had another hockey mom offer to help me out, so it worked out really well!
I feel like we had a successful season, and to me it is all thanks to the coaches. They show up week after week, smiling, happy, organized, getting their kids on the ice for the games, running their practices. As this is house league, I am also thrilled to report that all parents and coaches kept their tempers in check all season long.
As this is house league, the first three rules are fun, fun, and fun. All kids get equal playing time, and we try to focus on player development. It is amazing at this age (7 and 8) to watch kids who can barely skate at the beginning of the season, whipping around by the end.
Dodge Caravan sponsored all ten of our Novice House League teams - Thanks Dodge!
Really, I don't know if I am thrilled that the season is over, or concerned about how I will now spend all of my free time for the next 3 1/2 months.
Of course, the boys still have 4 on 4 for the next few months, and the spring / summer tournament team for Son One. Oh, and our women's hockey has a spring session that runs until July 15th.
I guess this means that hockey will go on and on... at least some of our Saturdays are free after this weekend!
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I can't hear myself think
Published April 19, 2010 @ 17:56 in Being Mommy
I've heard the phrase before, but assumed it was just a phrase. But it is real. I really, really, really can't hear myself think over the noise of the kids! They were playing outside, but all came in for dinner and homework. For some reason, I have a current overwhelming need for peace and quiet contrary to their current needs to yell and bicker.
Tonight my goal will be to get them all into bed EARLY!!! The earlier the better.
Husband has been gone since early, and won't be home until late. He has also informed that it will be his schedule for most of the week.
I am without my minivan - it is getting a new door at Toyota (under warranty, they claim, but I believe they are just trying to stay on their owner's good sides!)
It is a beautiful day out there, and we all played outside after school. Until Daughter fell playing hopscotch and screamed bloody murder.
I think that is what started my need for peace.
Bedtime will certainly not come quickly enough tonight. Too bad the boys can now tell time.
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Bird Sitting
Published April 18, 2010 @ 09:30 in Amazing Kids
We are currently baby-sitting a cockatiel for a friend who is off enjoying the sand and sun in Mexico.
The kids LOVE animals, and since Son One has been asking for his own pet, I thought this would be a good opportunity to see how he is in taking care of a pet for the short term. We currently have a pet, but he is so ingrained as a member of the family that his care is second nature to us all, so it is hard to gauge.
Of course, I am not sure what I was thinking offering to bird-sit. You see, our family pet is Merlin, a lovely black cat. Who, even in his "geriatric" age loves to hunt, and is a pretty successful hunter. Dead mice, birds, and even a rat have been found.
For some reason, I believed our lovable, hug-able cat to be tame. In reality, this has been a real wake-up call, reminding me that if I should die in my sleep and have not be found for a week or two, I will surely be eaten where I lay.
The Cockatiel is loving and affectionate. I actually had no idea birds were such great and fun pets. He isn't clipped, so we allow him to fly around the house. His favourite perch is my head. I have threatened him - if he poos on my head one more time, I am cooking up a batch of cockatiel stew.
He doesn't talk yet. We actually had a discussion about what phrases we could teach him. Given the bird's obvious affection for Daughter and I, my choice was, "I like blonds" however the boys vetoed me and decided on, "He scores!" So far, there is no talking going on.
Merlin is thrilled with the bird, thinking that we have brought him home a real puzzle - dinner in a cage... The rule is that the cage can only be open when Merlin is outside, or asleep and closed up in a bedroom. Husband, clever as they come, has used the old jolly-jumper components to attach the bird up high, away from the ground. If only we could get the kids to stop moving chairs over to the cage, we would be golden.
We've had two close calls.
Friday, the bird was out relaxing on my head while I read a book in the living. Husband came home from hockey practice, and while he navigated the hockey bag in, Merlin ran in between his legs. I started yelling for the door to close. The bird starting flying in a panic, and Merlin thought, "this is my chance!"
Again last night, the bird was out and Merlin was outside. Ever thoughtful Son Two, while playing outside, noticed Merlin wanted to come in so he let him in, forgetting that the bird may be out. Luckily, I was able to quickly usher Merlin out the back door and all was well again.
This bird loves to be around people and likes to perch on shoulders and heads. He nibbles at my earrings, and grooms my hair like his feathers.
Husband walks around with the bird on his shoulder, pretending to be a pirate. I may just kick him next time he utters, "Ahoy Matey!" Somehow, when I have the bird on me I don't get to be a cool pirate, but instead he calls me the crazy bird lady, saying I remind him of a homeless woman feeding pigeons in the park. What a double standard!
My advice? If you don't have a cat, and are thinking of a pet bird for your kids, go for it! We've had so much fun and can't believe how loving and affection birds can be. That being said, I can't wait for Friday so that I can stop worrying about Merlin making a meal out of our house guest.
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Laundry Woes
Published April 16, 2010 @ 10:14 in Around the House, Loving Daddy
I hate laundry more than anything else in the entire world. Except onions. I definitely hate onions more than laundry, but I am also able to avoid them. Laundry is my unavoidable personal hell. Dante should have included it in his Inferno.
This morning, I had yet another laundry problem. Husband, in his attempt to wash ONE shirt, emptied the clean clothes from the washer. Alas, there were clean, dry clothes in the dryer, so he emptied those as well. The domino effect.
Now, instead of going upstairs, and emptying one of the laundry baskets full of clean clothes, and refilling it with the clothes from the dryer (yes, laundry is everywhere in my home), he instead chose to empty the contents of the dryer, clean, dry clothes, onto the laundry room floor.
There, the clean, dry clothes migrated to join the HUGE pile of dirty, unwashed clothes, also in piles on the laundry room floor.
This morning, I head down to do some laundry, and shock of shock, I CAN'T DISTINGUISH THE CLEAN CLOTHES FROM THE DIRTY!!!
Of course, I marched upstairs, picked up the phone, and called Husband to give him a piece of my mind. He wasn't available. Tried the cell phone. No dice.
Headed back downstairs to see if I could somehow, using my advanced mommy sense of smell, cleave the dirty from the clean. Not a chance. I ended up throwing them all back into the washer for another round.
Now, to one who hates laundry as I do, almost as much as onions, this is a nightmare. I have more than enough laundry without washing clean clothes.
However, I have decided to let Husband off the hook for this one. There will be no discussion... I am just going to breath, let it go, and never mention it again. Isn't he the lucky one today?
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Mommies Need Friends
Published April 16, 2010 @ 07:15 in
There is a sort of cheesy but true poem that you can probably find in at least half of your old school yearbooks:
Make new friends but keep the old,
One is silver; the other is gold.
New moms, you need new mom friends for your sanity and well being. Call it, "misery loves company" or "we're all in the same boat." Whatever you call it, you need support from those going through exactly what you are going through, like a new mommy support group.
Toronto Public Health actually runs New Mommy Groups, and I find that you can find some like-minded moms in your neighbourhood with babies the exact same ages as your baby who want to start a morning coffee group or a walk club as soon as the Public Health Group is done. BE A JOINER! There is also Gymboree for those moms who have money to spend and are looking to get out of the house once a week.
I feel like to make new mom friends, it is almost like joining Al Anon.
"HELLO. My name is Tania and I am a new mom.
I have this new baby. He cries, pees, poos, sleeps and eats.
I don't sleep. I don't need any more advice, however well-meaning.
I am a new mom, and I am just doing the best that I can!"
You need a new mom friend who doesn't frown or disapprove when you say, "when we are done nursing we should definitely go out for cosmos." Ideally, you want the one who says, "Hey! Let's go tonight! We can pump and dump and leave formula for our husbands!"
One of my closest friends is someone whom I became a first time new mom with. I actually met her while 6 months pregnant at a prenatal yoga class because we were both wearing our husband's Western University T-Shirts. We practically called one another first when we got pregnant the next two times, which is why all three of our kids are the same age.
I also love my hockey moms. These are the moms that I play hockey with, which luckily include most of the moms off of my sons' select hockey teams. Some weeks I see them more than I see my husband. We share a common goal (no - it is not to learn hockey, it is to hook-up with the 21 year-old instructor - duh!) And there is something to be said about learning something new at our age, like a giant weekly team-building exercise. We have great fun.
Finally, there are my "old and gold" friends. New moms - as busy as you are, or as much as you think that no longer have anything in common - DON'T LOSE THESE! You will soon realize how wonderful it is to have friend's who know you for you instead of as, "Matthew's mom."
These friends keep me real. As I spend 99% of my mommy life focused on the needs of my children, and being a MOM, these amazing friends remind me of who I am, who I was before I became a mom, and who I used to dream of being. They are supportive and loving enough to hear my mommy stories without cringing, and yet they can steer me to new topics of conversation with ease and get me laughing.
It takes a little effort, and sometimes a sitter, to ensure that you get to spend time with your golden oldie friends. But the recharge you will get is worth it.
Maybe it is just me, but I love my women friends (after a glass or two of Pinot Grigio I will be sure to announce that loudly). They keep me sane, grounded, and bring fun and laughter into my life.
Mommies - if you don't have enough friends to make you feel good, or to cry to when you feel bad, make it a priority to go out and make some. Talk to the woman sitting beside you at the park. Steer your stroller next to the other mom at Four-Bucks and ask her how old her little one is. Trust me. Friends make it all easier.
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Signs that my Daughter has spent too much time at the arena
Published April 14, 2010 @ 07:54 in Amazing Kids
This winter, total family ice time each week was somewhere in the 20 - 25 hour range. Yep, pretty crazy.
Daughter claims that she wants to start hockey next season. I tried my best to talk her into figure skating, but no dice.
She is pretty good at coming to watch her brothers. I love the fact that she doesn't really complain about sitting in a cold, loud arena, but every forth week when I actually have to bring Son Two to her 60 minute dance class - THE ISSUES!
Now that the weather is nice, Husband sets up the nets in the driveway and the kids run back and forth with their balls taking shots. Yesterday, Daughter grabbed her stick, too.
(NOTE: Trying to get Daughter to play right since if she ever wants to play field hockey, it is only right. But she, her dad, and Son Two are all left shots.)
After about 20 minutes, Daughter climbed into her little flinstone car and took to the driveway. She did a perfect oval lap yelling, "Get off the ice! Here comes the zamboni!" And then after one lap she yelled at her father, "HEY REF! Move the nets for me!"
It was really cute! Her little feet moving to push her car in nice ovals around the driveway while the boys stood near the nets waiting for the ice to clear.
Maybe, instead of hockey, I should get her into driving lessons so that when she grows up, she could drive the zamboni!
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ER Kid
Published April 12, 2010 @ 09:52 in Amazing Kids
If you have multiply children, I am sure that at least one of them you would dub the "ER Kid."
In our house, it is Son Two.
Somehow, I assumed it would be Son One. A big, tough, physical kid. His first ER visit was at three months - UTI. We had to go through tests at Sick Kids, but luckily all was normal and it was a one off. Touch Wood - Son One visits the Dr once a year to get weighed and measured, throws up and sneezes a few times in between, and that is all.
Around the time his big brother was turning three, Son Two came down with a weird bug. Worries about measles, small box, or Hong Kong flu, we rushed to Sick Kids only to find out three weeks later, when he was all better, that he had "influenza A." That was his first ER visit. We should have asked for a frequent flyers card.
Son Two has visited the ER so often that on one visit as I was checking him in the nurse exclaimed, "Oh! Tania! How odd - we don't seem to have a cell number on file for you!"
Another time Son Two was put into a hospital gown to check for "other injuries;" euphemism for we want to check to make sure that you are not beating him.
Son Two has had so many falls and bumps that he his forehead actually has permanent bumps. Luckily, it was explained to us during one of our visits that the toddlers skull is actually designed like a helmet in the front.
He has had glue and staples, (really, what is he - an arts and crafts project?) but so far we have stayed clear of the plaster and stitches.
Yesterday, Son Two, while jumping on a trampoline, sprained his ankle. Of course we rushed him straight to his hockey game, where he played on if for an hour. Then out to dinner when he finally started complaining. (Oh yes, Son Two is NOT the complainer of our children. Son One would win that award, with Daughter a very close runner-up.)
Home, sock off, and swollen ankle. OUCH! He is now playing the invalid up in bed with an ice pack and a DS.
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What happened to Spring?
Published April 9, 2010 @ 20:31 in Around the House
Perhaps our hockey season will never end, but with the beautiful weather over the Easter weekend I believed that Spring had arrived. Today - flurries.
FLURRIES!
I just took my snow tires off, and patted myself on the back for getting the hats, mittens, boots, winter coats and snow pants put away.
YES - FLURRIES!
I was chilled to the bone all day. My current plan is to crawl into bed and hibernate until it really is Spring again.
However - currently there is someone over installing a new dryer, so I have to stay dressed and awake.
This is what I love about my father.
Last night, I put a load of laundry in the dryer. It is sounded terrible, and I don't think that it was spinning at all.
Called my dad at about 9 pm. Yes, I am 35 years old - but so? (Note - my father was also the one who took my minivan into get my tires changed, and has organized a new door for the van for me)
Today, I had a new dryer by noon. Tonight, it will be installed. How's that for service?
My husband is wonderful, and cleaned the laundry room, removed the old dryer (involved removing the side door) and put the new dryer into the basement laundry room.
HOWEVER - without my father purchasing the dryer today, and organizing the installation, I could have been weeks or MONTHS without a dryer.
Can you imagine a living without full service laundry facilities for days, let alone weeks or months, with three children? As much as I hate laundry, the thought of not being able to do it when I need to terrifies.
Thanks Dad!
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Losing my head
Published April 9, 2010 @ 12:24 in Being Mommy
OK. This week has been a great week for me, except for one, small, tiny problem.
I HAVE LOST EVERYTHING!
Here is a list of what I've lost (and what, if anything has been found):
1) My VISA card - do you know how lost I feel without it?
2) My bank card - now I am just poor (actually, this card was found by my mom in her car before I was even aware that it was lost - how WEIRD!)
3) My itouch. Dying without the music in bed, and checking email all the time.
4) My ipod... see about about the music in bed (note - Son One found it in the minivan! now if I could just find the charger)
5) Sunglasses - one pair misplaced, one lost and later found
6) TWO of my favourite lipglosses!
7) My calendar (and the back-up calendar is on my itouch)
8) The sweater that I wanted to wear today.
So I am cold, broke, clueless, and blinded by the sun...
Please help!
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Hockey Tuesdays and Ballet Wednesdays
Published April 7, 2010 @ 07:34 in Being Mommy
Today is Wednesday, and yes, I still have ballet.
Daughter also has ballet this morning, so we always talk about how Wednesdays are for ballet.
She gets to wear a tiny leotard, pink tights and slippers. I wear the slippers with yoga gear. When I get home, she often demonstrates something that she learned, and asks if I, too, learned it at ballet.
Basically, it is great to know that I am keeping up with my four-year-old. She learns first position (called a pizza slice for the kids) and I learn it! She learns plies (called diamonds) and I learn them. I learn retires - her teacher actually decides to call them retires! (NOTE: All accents are missed in the above paragraph).
People seem shocked, and often laugh at me, when I explain that I am taking beginner ballet. No, I did not take it as a child. Yes, it is for adults. No, I do not have to wear a leotard. Yes, some people do. Yes, it is a good workout. No, I will not have a year-end recital. But we do have live accompaniment in class every week - how cool is that?
I actually like the ballet workout and dancing more than my moms hockey. BUT I LOVE the socializing from hockey (talking isn't allowed in ballet class). Actually, I am sure my hockey coach has asked me once to twice not to talk while he is explaining the drills, but it doesn't seem to be a strict rule.
My Tuesday night hockey is done, but I think ballet keeps going for at least another 8 weeks. My turnout is better, my plies are deeper, but I am not a ballerina. However, like hockey, trying something new gives me so much appreciation for those dancers and hockey players out there, because this stuff is hard!
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Kids are Cute
Published April 6, 2010 @ 09:18 in Amazing Kids
My kids make me laugh regularly. Really, it is one of the main reasons for having them.
This morning Daughter asked for her cup, "it is on the mountain!" She said... She meant our kitchen island. OK, geographic formation... same dif.
She also said, "I have two cuts. One on my finger, and one not on my finger."
Last night I took Son One to an Indian Restaurant for dinner. He was impressed by the table cloths, linen napkins, glassed and plates. He then proceeded to eat ferociously with his hands. Trying to find a learning point, we spoke about the 1 billion people in Indian, and how many of them lived in extreme poverty, not having enough to eat. His response, "why don't they have Indian food in India?"
It was like when I started taking him to the classes at church to prepare for his First Holy Communion this spring. As he walked into the church, he looked around and announced, "I am definitely not doing this next year!"
Daughter was just as funny in church when we went to her cousin's Baptism.
"Wow," she said, looking around, "I've never been in church before!" (note - not true!)
"Just be quiet and watch the priest," I whispered to her.
"Which one's the priest?"
Husband took the boys to see Clash of the Titans on Saturday night. During one scene the hero goes under a giant scorpion. Son Two, who hasn't figured out whispering in the movie theater, says loudly into the silence of the theater, "that guy is so stupid!"
Yes, what fun.
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Easter Egg Hunt
Published April 6, 2010 @ 09:06 in Being Mommy
Sunday we had our annual Easter Egg Hunt.
First, I tried to clean the house up so that eggs could actually be found. I told the kids that if the house was too messy, then the Easter Bunny wouldn't bother setting up a hunt.
I read until the kids were all asleep, and then went downstairs to set things up.
I cursed Husband the ENTIRE TIME! He was fast asleep, and didn't bother helping with the preparations.
Now let's be clear. Somehow, holiday planning leaves me feeling like a single parent. Halloween - I'm in charge of costumes and candy. Christmas - presents, wrapping, presents, wrapping, baking, presents, and more wrapping. Some years I even wrap my own gifts and put them under the tree. Easter - sneaking out to buy the Easter chocolates.
Normally, Husband is by my side on Christmas Eve and Easter Eve, finalizing, setting up Santa stuff, hiding the Easter Eggs, eating Santa's cookies, making bunny prints on the stairs or reindeer prints in the yard...
This Easter Eve - HE SLEPT!!!!
What would have happened if I had fallen asleep as well? No Easter Bunny?
MEN!
Yes, he was pretty sheepish on Sunday morning as the kids ran around, having a great time. As he sat on the couch, he looked over at me and said, "Great job! High Five!" As I kept my arm tightly folder across my chest, I got 'high-fived' right in the middle of the forehead.
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Quality vs. Quantity Time
Published April 3, 2010 @ 16:20 in Being Mommy
Before I had children, I already hated parents who talked about "quality time" with their kids. To me, it just seemed like more busy, type A over achievers trying to fit too much into their overly crammed lives and justify how they could still be good parents by scheduling time with their kids. (Similarly, I get super annoyed by parents who claim that their children are better raised by people being paid to raise them, versus the parents themselves.) Touchy subject? You bet!
I am not talking about parents who need to work in order to pay the bills. I am talking about those making well north of the 100K mark each, who try to justify it. Look, I have nothing against working, but I also don't feel that everyone needs to be a parent. But we are all adults and all make our choices. I don't know if you can have everything, but I do know that you can't have everything right now.
My judgment extends to their overindulged offspring who have their parents wrapped around their fingers because they can actually count the number of hours they spend with their children each week, and feel the strong need to advocate on their children's behalf constantly to make up for being hopelessly out of touch.
Quality time is a myth. If you have to schedule time to spend with your kids, you probably shouldn't have had them. If you already have them and are finding it hard to fit "playing in the park" in between your business conferences and your marathon training, maybe it is time to re-prioritize.
Our kids are young for such a short period of time. And already I see how my eldest doesn't really need me any more. In another few years I may find myself made redundant, and then I will need to start looking for a real job once again.
Perhaps I am a worse mother for all of the time I spend with my kids. I would guess that I definitely yell more. And my personal activities are an escape allowing me to recharge my sanity. The flip side is that I am on call for my kids practically 24 - 7 - 52.
But if you think that parenting is something that you can fit in between work, the gym, shopping and time with friends, then you are probably giving your kids a disservice.
My kids are actually reaching an age where I can start to look for some work outside of the home. Admittedly, I will NEVER be a homemaker or a housewife. Blech! I am raising a family, not a house! I don't want to micromanage their lives, their homework, their activities, their laundry, their diets, their friendships. But I want them to know where to find me, and that I am there for them.
I've given up a lot to be a mommy, but it doesn't feel like I've actually lost anything.
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Good Bye Winter Clothes
Published April 2, 2010 @ 18:50 in Around the House
It is official. Winter hats, boots, mittens and coats have all been removed from my entry way. There are three bags to be donated of clothes and boots that won't be making it to our next winter.
Does this officially mean that spring is here? I spoke with a mom yesterday who said that she is going to keep the mittens and hats around just a little bit longer. Personally, I couldn't be happier to see them finally go!
Unfortunately, living in an old Toronto home means that we don't really have much storage. Where to put all of the winter coats, snow pants, scarves, mittens, boots and hats for next season? So far they are squeezed into the back of Husband's work-clothes closet in the basement. I am sure to catch heck for squishing his suits.
Today I wore SANDALS! If that doesn't say, "Hello sunshine!" I don't know what does. Of course, if was just a reminder of how neglected my poor feet have been all winter. Yep, time for a pedicure. Except that I had strangers touching my feet. And I am extremely ticklish. Even more so with strangers. So that leaves me with the at-home option. Luckily, Daughter loves nail-polish just as much as the next four-year-old girl, so I have an assistant.
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Full Moons and Bad Vibes
Published April 2, 2010 @ 09:00 in Amazing Kids
This week has been a rough week on us. Not bad, but for some reason Son One, Son Two and myself have all not felt ourselves.
The boys favourite line has been, "This is the worst day ever!" Of course, it looses its impact when the words are muttered daily.
When asked to elaborate, "What was so bed about today, honey?" nothing concrete could be mentioned.
It has been a week of tears, cuddles and hugs. The weird thing is, I have been in a terrible mood that I can't snap out of as well (though mine may be PMS). Though the house has been filled with the grumps, it hasn't been particularly tumultuous or anything like that.
A few nights ago while drive home with everyone in the van, Husband pointed out the beautiful full moon rising over the horizon. Ah, I thought, the culprit.
When all else fails, blame something completely out of your control. That's a good rule for parenthood.
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