Entry FeedLast night, as I was putting the kids to bed, Son Two asked if Santa Claus was real. Son One jumped in and said, "Of course he is!" and I thought to myself, "I am supposed to talk about sex to a kid who still believes in Santa?" Let me explain.
A few weeks ago, I read in MacLean's magazine that if you don't explain sex and where babies come from to your child by Grade Two, they will hear it from someone else. Now, it is not that I consider MacLean's my parenting bible, but I do know that Son One, currently in Grade Two, has lots of friends with older siblings. After discussing it with Husband, he agreed that in theory it does make sense to explain the basics to our seven year old.
I have discussed periods, breasts, lactating, how babies get out, circumcision, foreskins, penises and testicles with the kids. Husband talks about things with wheels and sporting equipment. I think it is a little unbalanced.
Alas, a few weeks ago I had the perfect opportunity to talk to Son One about sex. We were over at the home of one of his hockey teammates. I was upstairs in the dining room going over some lists with the mom, while the boys were in the basement. Her eleven year old daughter came in, and handed her a folded note. It read, "I think we should have an adult watching the movie with us. There is sex going on." How mature! The mother said that it was a G rated movie!
After we left, I thought it was a good time to bring it up. It was dark, I was driving, and Son Two was sitting in the back looking out the window. We wouldn't have to look one another in the eye, and we were under cover of the night.
I turned down the radio volume and started.
Me: So - what movie were you guys were watching?
Son One: Marley & Me. You know the one with the dog running outside the car.
Me: Oh. Was there sex in the movie? (look - I never claimed to be subtle!)
Son One: No. (looking out the window).
Me: Do you know what sex is?
Son One: No. (Remember, this is the most curious kid in the WORLD!)
Me: Have you ever heard the word "SEX" before?
Son One: No. Can you see that orange sign?
Me: No one at school has ever said anything about sex to you before?
Son One: No. Is that a star or a planet?
Me: Well, honey, you know that if you ever have any questions, Daddy and I are here for you. If you ever want to talk or ask about anything. Especially Daddy. OK?
Son One: OK.
Obviously, he has heard SOMETHING about sex, and just didn't want to discuss it with me. But here is the trickier part. The kid still believes in SANTA! How can you really talk about sex to a kid who believes in Santa, the Toothfairy, and the Easter bunny? It just doesn't make sense!
Last night, Son Two had obviously put some thought into the Santa Myth. Here are highlights from that conversation:
Son Two: Mommy, is Santa real?
Me: (Why the heck does Daddy always miss the good discussion!) What do you think, honey?
Son One: Of course he is! Remember when we saw the footprints on the snow from the reindeer! (Note: Daddy and his hockey stick) And Aunt Y. heard the jingle of bells! (Note: My father's chains and medallions)
Son Two: Yeah, but anybody could buy you presents, wrap them and stick them under the tree and just say that they were from Santa.
Me: Who would do that?
Son Two: I don't know. Maybe Nana.
Son One: Remember when we heard the Easter Bunny hopping up the stairs? (That was me, actually)
Me: I am really tired. Let's go to sleep.
Husband and I pride ourselves on open and honest communication with our kids. However, Daughter is only three and I still want her to believe. Husband and I go out of our way to create magic with the holidays.
Though let's be honest. How old are kids when they stop believing? When can we just tell them the truth? I want to know, because just think about how we could sleep in Christmas and Easter if there was no charade about "Oh, let's see what Santa/Easter Bunny left for you guys!" We could skip right to the mimosas and brunch...
And on the topic of sex, I just may try talking to my five-year-old about it first, see how he takes it before I move on to Son One. After all, if Son One still believes in the fantasy of Santa, he may not even believe what I have to tell him about sex.