Entry FeedToday there was an article in the Globe & Mail, I despise breastfeeding; this was in the facts and arguments section, so really more of an Op Ed (Opinion Editorial).
While I feel for the mother and her struggles, a bigger part of me wants to tell her to suck it up; her issues have little or nothing to do with breastfeeding. I am trying really hard to not be judgmental, but I wonder what she expected having a newborn was like?
Who is spreading this falsehood that newborns sleep for 18 hours a day and nurse every three hours for 15 minutes? And why are new mothers believing it? I think this is what is making her feel so terrible about her experience. I feel for her. It is really, really hard to take complete care of another human being without help and support. But if she isn't eating, no wonder she is having issues feeding! You need some food and sleep to help make milk. Gee - hasn't anyone ever mentioned that to her? What she needs is for her husband to take the baby for a few hours so that she can sleep; and she needs food and snacks in the house that are easy and accessible. And she actually needs to eat them.
Any of us who have breastfed know that sometimes our baby seems to eat literally around the clock. New mothers are all sleep deprived and hormonal. I usually give advice like, "the first three weeks are so hard, you will be so tired and in so much pain that you won't really remember them. Take lots of pictures of the baby. Don't take any pictures of yourself - no matter how good people keep telling you that you look, they are lying. You look like crap." "The next three weeks get better, but you don't actually start functioning until week six or so."
I don't know why issues with newborns, like lack of sleep, are blamed on breastfeeding just being so darn hard. Yes, it may seem easier to just give them a bottle. Was motherhood supposed to be easy? I am not talking about those who have real, medical issues with breastfeeding. I am talking about the lack of education regarding breastfeeding leading to excuses that it is too hard. Lack of sleep and proper nutrition impact your milk supply, leading to an infant that is possibly not getting enough and being cranky and feeding often.
Look, the bottom line is that you don't have to breastfeed to be a mom - you can be a great mom and feed you newborn formula. However, if you choose to breastfeed, you need to get yourself the proper support and information to do it properly. Unfortunately, we have lost generations of women to formula feeding, so we didn't get to grow up watching our mothers, aunts, and every woman around us with a baby breastfeeding. We aren't born with the knowledge of how to "pump" our breasts, or increase our supply, we need to be taught.
I am lucky. Husband grew up on a dairy farm and has lots of knowledge and experience about what makes a good milker. Most of it can be applied. Also, my mother was lucky enough to be neighbours with a La Leche woman when we were growing up, so she had breastfeeding experience to impart and support.
We need to be honest about our exceptions of motherhood, and the realities. Taking care of a newborn is a reality shock for most Canadian mothers. They need support, not platitudes.
Is breast best? We all know that the nutrients in breast milk cannot be matched my formula. However is it best? Definitely not at the expense of the health of you infant, nor of your sanity and well being as a mother.