A Web Site For Toronto Mommies

Published July 10, 2009 @ 07:47 by Tania in Being Mommy

Yesterday I attended a funeral for a young mother. She was 35, and has three children younger than mine.

When I first heard that she had passed away, I couldn't get out of my mind how much of her children's lives she would miss... Her eldest will be doing his First Holy Communion next year, her middle child starts JK in the fall, and her third turns two next week. And for every occasion, there are a million little moments that she will miss for the rest of their lives.

I thought about how, as mothers, we believe that no one can do for our children what we do. Even Daddy isn't us. There is conviction behind every decision that we make for each of our children, no matter how small. When I heard that she had passed away, I cried for her, realizing how much I would miss and how hard it is to know that someone else will be taking care of my kids instead of me. Someone else to wake them every morning, help them dress, and get them out the door. Someone else to make them brush their teeth, put on their pajamas, and kiss them goodnight. And the thousand things that we do for them every day in between.

Then I started to think about her children. They still have their dad, all grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins. But loosing their mother changes them, and it will be a void in their lives forever. As much love and support that they will get, and I know that these kids are loved like crazy by so many people, they will still not have their mother's daily love; her hugs and kisses and cuddles to make it all better.

Her eldest will be hit the hardest right now, because he understand the most about what happened and he had the most time with her. Her daughter will notice other mothers and daughters growing up and feel her loss. The youngest will remember her only through the stories and pictures. The saddest yesterday was him asking for Mama, and you wonder how long until he stops asking.

Sad things happen. People die. It just really sucks sometimes.

The funeral yesterday was lovely. The older kids broke down in the church, but really the service was a celebration of her life. At the internment, I noticed many small grave stones near her final resting place. Reading them I was further saddened as they were children - some with the same birth and death rates, most in the first year, the oldest was 13. Perhaps it is by design that the cemetery buries young mothers near children.

She was a beautiful, smart, energetic, strong and sassy woman. She was an amazing mother who was devoted to her children and family; she was their heart. She was loved and adored by many, and will be missed. Offering her family our love and prayers.