Entry FeedAm I the only parent who feels like we are pushing our kids to do too much too fast? So much pressure! Such high expectations! Are we creating a super generation? Or maybe just a bunch of kids who will soon be ready for the therapist's couch?
This year I officially learned of an occurrence in sports called, "playing up." This is where kids play with the group ahead of them, the older kids. In theory, these kids are so skilled that they would outplay everyone in their own age group, having an unfair advantage or learning little, and instead they learn superior skills and get challenged by the older kids.
Does this sound crazy to anyone but me? First of all, often these kids are pushed up by their parents who either believe their child to be of superior skill or they have an elder child so it is just more convenient.
If the child is truly of superior skill - more power to them! I would think that they would benefit more (by the boost in confidence) by being the best player on a team of their peers, rather than being a mediocre or good player with a bunch of older kids. Plus there may be pressure on them that they are not mature enough to handle.
I've noticed such a difference, not just in skill level, but in an understanding of rules, strategy and sportsmanship in kids as they age, more associated with maturity.
Parents also need to consider the feelings of the older sibling who is constantly subjected to a younger sibling. Please give them each their space, and the opportunity to achieve individual without competition or comparison.
I wonder if part of the pushing, and the bending of the rules, comes because many of our generation assume themselves superior. We are impatient, aggressive, and like to be first. Now we push our kids to be the same. Are those really qualities we want to instill? It seems like every parents is asking for special permission to push their child ahead, and they expect to get it.
Son Two is born on January 2nd. Thirty-two hours earlier, and he would now be in SK instead of JK, and could be in many of Son One's activities. My OB wanted him to be born December 26th (he was a booked c-section), but I asked it we could wait until the new year.
People thought I was being silly - why not have him a year earlier? One less of year of daycare to pay for, off to school one year earlier - Husband always answered, "Yes, and off to work one year sooner - what are we rushing him for?" Also, December boys tend to take, on average, until Grade Four to catch up to their classmates. Why start them behind the 8 ball like that? Isn't it easier on them to be the biggest, smartest kid in their class than the opposite?
We have had stellar parent / teacher conferences with Son Two's teacher this year. She keeps going on and on about how he does this at an SK level and that at a SK level. Yes, but had he been born two days earlier, we may have been having very different conversations a year ago.
I think adding all of this pressure to our kids is because we parents are so competitive with one another. My kid is better than your kid therefore I am better than you. How silly are we?
So we put a six year old on the ice with a bunch of seven and eight year olds, because he can skate like the wind. Except the seven and eight year olds have an extra 20 pounds on them, and they know that sometimes it is better to pass. Or we put a five year old on a field with six and seven year olds because he really loves soccer, but he won't actually get to touch the ball. And don't get me started on parents who actually lie about their kids ages or birthdays.
Parents - please stop the insanity! Let your kids grow up and develop at their own pace with their peer group (I don't know about you, but my kids are already growing up too fast). One of the greatest things both husband and I remember from sports was the friends we made on our teams, easier when we are the same age instead of the little kid sitting at the end of the bench because his parents know the convener.
Wow, I could have written that myself! This is a topic I tend to pontificate on so I'll just say "yea, what she said!"