It kills you to see them grow up.  But I guess it would kill you quicker if they didn't.
~ Barbara Kingsolver, Animal Dreams

Oprah and Teen Sex


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Published April 17, 2009 @ 12:47 by Tania in Amazing Kids

Teen Sex. Wow Oprah, what a great show. Husband watched the first part with me (he was taking a nap after work and I came in and turned on the TV.)

Yesterday's show was about these two teens, 14 year old boyfriend and girlfriend, and whether or not they would have sex.

The teens held hands, flanked by their mothers. I found the teens very articulate and intelligent, though obviously they are just 14. I thought that the girl's mother was a bit of a dolt (sort of hate to judge since I don't know her so it isn't really fair, but sometimes I am judgy.) She said that she was surprised that her daughter was dating because she was only 14 and didn't seem to be interested in boys.

Huh???? I think was interested in boys by 11! However, I do have to say that by 14 I was still thinking of maybe kissing some guy or dancing slow; sex wasn't even on my radar.

Dr. Laura Berman helped Oprah lead the discussion, and asked the following 8 questions:

  1. Why do you want to take it to the next level now?
  2. How long do the two of you plan to stay together?
  3. Are you prepared for the emotions you might feel afterward?
  4. Have you talked about condoms?
  5. Are you prepared with two forms of birth control?
  6. Have you talked about what happens if you get pregnant?
  7. Do you understand sexually transmitted diseases?
  8. Are both of you absolutely sure that neither one of you has been with anyone else sexually in any way?

At the end of the conversation, it seemed the like girl, who was shocked that a long time meant to her boyfriend that we would be with her for 6 months to a year, decided that she wasn't sure she wanted to give up her virginity just yet. Also, her response to what happens if you get pregnant, "I don't even want to think about it" shows a lack of readiness to deal with the consequences.

I don't have teens yet, but even my husband and I were able to ask each other questions to see if we were on the same page in dealing with our kids and sex issues. We both agree that 14 is far to young for sex, but also want to make sure to talk to kids about sex, early and often. Personally, I think anything to get people talking about it is better than being afraid of the topic. Congrats, Oprah.


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