April Showers...
Published April 30, 2009 @ 17:55 in Amazing Kids
Is it true that April showers bring May flowers? I may have to keep on my allergy medication through June if all of this rain keeps up!
I just learned that my 7 year old is too old for his froggy raincoat, the very one that he loved last year. He has T-ball tonight, in the rain, and I was so happy to have found his raincoat so that he wouldn't get wet! He took one look at it, and said, "I don't want to wear that."
Then Husband jumped in, "He wants to look cool!" and then tried to put his running jacket on our son. My husband is 6 foot - his jacket does not fit our 7 year old. The T-ball team is 6, 7 and 8 year-olds, so my son is with older boys, and he doesn't want to stand out.
Personally, I just want him to be dry. I am actually a little happy that silly rubber boots are "in" because I can be practical and sort of cute at the same time. If they made a ladybug raincoat in my size, I would consider it.
My baby is growing up. At 7 he still doesn't dress himself, but he doesn't want to look "baby-ish." At least I still have the other two.
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Toronto Summer Camps
Published April 30, 2009 @ 08:37 in Kids Activities
No one mentioned that we have 10 weeks of summer vacation this year! School ends early - school starts late. Around Toronto there are so many great summer day camps (overnight camps next year, I promise).
Here is a very short list of ones we have tried, or friends have tried and recommend:
Toronto Habourfront Centre Camps
Have heard many wonderful things about these camps. Variety of activities for kids 4 - 17. Plus often a busing option from a school near you. For younger kids, there are dance and multi-sport camps. Older kids get really great art and acrobatic stuff. AMAZING!
Habourfront Centre Summer Camps dot com
Canlan Hockey Camps
We used to do a lot with a competitor of this camp, but really have had much more success and happier kids with the Canlan camps. The instructors are young, friendly and fun. Meal plans are a great option for the full day camps. There are lots of great hockey camps around the city, but we like this one.
Canlan Ice Sports dot com
Tennis Camp
Last summer my boys loved the local tennis camp. The instructors were all university aged kids, but fun and creative. We did half day; I thought full day of tennis may be too much for our younger kids.
Soccer Camp
My boys love soccer. This summer we are trying the "Challenger" Soccer camps for Son One, but last year we just found a small, local, and very inexpensive one in the park. ($65 for half day - starting at age 5)
Challenger Soccer Camps dot com
Sportplay Camp
Both boys did this one last year. They must have been really active, because their lunch boxes where always completely emptied! Great for younger kids (3, 4, 5) however, we did full day and the program just repeated itself from the morning for the afternoon. The kids didn't seem to mind, but I would have liked more variety.
Sport Play Camps dot com
Artworks Camp
This is an amazing art studio near us. Look for one locally. Again, I put both boys in the camp, and their creations were spectacular. The instructors are all great, and there is an art show at the end of the week. For younger kids, unless they are really into art, the half day was enough. Older kids who love art would love the full day. This is like a real art studio, not arts and crafts.
ArtWorks Camps dot com
ROM Camp
The museum has great programs for kids starting as young as 4. Our family are members, and we have tried the Saturday morning clubs. The summer camps look great, and offer something a little different than tradition outdoor or sports camps. They run two weeks, instead of one. Book early!
ROM Camps dot com
I am sure that there are many more great camps out there, but I haven't tried them yet! Let me know your favourite. Hope you have a great summer!
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Yummy mummies
Published April 29, 2009 @ 08:11 in Being Mommy
About a month ago I wrote about the crazy pressure we are putting on our kids. Today it is about the pressure we are putting on ourselves.
I live in a neighbourhood with a lot of really hot moms. These women are gorgeous! Thin, coiffed, and wearing heels to pick up their kids at school. Not all of them, but enough that they give the rest of us something to aspire to, or maybe something to hate.
After giving birth these women are hitting the gym to get "back into shape." Others watch everything that they put in their mouths, counting calories or points. They put pressure on themselves to look perfect, in turn putting pressure on the rest of us. Sure, maybe it started out with crazy celebrities that had personal trainers and chefs along with their nannies and baby nurses. But normal women are trying to look like super stars and making the rest of us hate ourselves and feel like dowdy Janes. The competition on the soccer sidelines may be greater than on the field.
Look - if you want to eat well and exercise - GREAT! What could be a better than to model a healthy and active lifestyle. But I don't think that is why these women are doing it.
There is this crazy, unrealistic, ideal splashed on every magazine and every TV screen. I once complained to a single friend about my "mommy tummy" and she said, "yeah, but you've had three kids!" I replied, "Maybe. But I don't want to look like I've had three kids." "Why not?" she asked. Good question!
I remember watching 8mm movies with my mother and sisters when I was a kid. My mother spliced herself pregnant out of the movies because she hated the way that she looked "fat." She was pregnant! My sister was almost 9 1/2 lbs! Of course she was big.
Growing up, my mother ate well, ran and played volleyball with friends. She was also one of the first moms to volunteer to coach our soccer and softball teams. I want to be the active, healthy mom - not the obsessive 'I can't eat that or I won't fit into my jeans' kind of mom.
Plus - I have a daughter. Girls are so susceptible to these body image issues that I am super sensitive. At home we don't comment on good or bad foods, though we do have "occasional" foods. I never say that my kids can't eat if they say they are hungry, though I have tried to recommend fruit as a snack. My kids are all happy, healthy and active. I can tell that at least one of them will struggle more with keeping their weight in check as they become adults, as I do. Not all of my children were blessed with my husband's lucky metabolism. But I want them to be healthy - not perfect looking.
It is hard. Our culture puts so much emphasis on appearance. My daughter has already been told by a female relative that she needs to stop eating if she doesn't want to get "bigger" - Daughter is three! There are also comments to my boys about how good it is that they are slimming down. They are big, solid kids, but healthy.
How can we expect our kids to grow up with healthy attitudes toward food and activity when we mothers are so crazy that we would do anything not to look like women who have given birth? I've lost count of the number of mothers I have spoken to postpartum who are on Weight Watchers before their babies are even a month old. Or the ones who brag about how their gym has great daycare and takes kids as young as 5 weeks! Who needs to go to a gym when their baby is that young?
My mom used to exercise when we were kids as her mental break - her time away from us to recharge her batteries. I run for the same reason, and it helps me feel good. But I am not running to try to recapture my 18 year-old body. And while I know that those yummy mummies on the soccer sidelines may be judging my frumpier mummy-tummy, I am trying to see that it is their problem, not mine.
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Fox in Socks
Published April 28, 2009 @ 21:03 in Around the House
The quick brown fox jumped over the....
I can't remember the rest of that silly sentence from typing class! But tonight I was outside talking to a neighbour(about her never ending renovations) when we saw a fox run down our street!
He was beautiful. He ran across the road, onto the sidewalk, and sat on a neighbour's lawn across the street. I ran inside to get my camera because I wanted to take a picture for you, but he ran again before I got out.
A lady walked down the street with some kind of big dog. He watched them, then ran across the street again to get away.
Curious. I knew we had squirrels and raccoons. Once I even saw a skunk in my backyard. Now a fox? The wildlife is taking over our city!
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A cup? He can drink out of the bottle.
Published April 27, 2009 @ 20:36 in Amazing Kids
Son One had his first T-Ball practice. When the coach called to tell us about the practice, he asked that my son bring a hat, a baseball glove, a bottle of water and a cup.
"A cup? He can drink out of the bottle."
"Uh... a cup for protection."
I bet the coach wishes that my husband had answered the phone.
At our McDonald's breakfast after lacrosse, I asked my husband why the boys weren't wearing their cups. I am not a male - I know nothing. But if it really is as sensitive an area as they say, then I would wear the cup.
"I don't care if I get hit in the wenis," said Son One. I swear, we always call the body parts by their correct names. Wenis is his own invention.
"You'd care if you got hit there," answered husband.
At T-Ball the coach approached the parents, "I noticed that some of the boys aren't wearing their cups. They really need to."
??? How did he notice that? Should I be really creeped out, or is it something guys can tell? Maybe some of the boys were wearing tight pants. Or maybe the cup pokes out when they kneel down for listening. Still, I am going to keep a close eye on him.
Husband mentioned that when he used to play baseball, his coach would grab a bat and yell, "Cup check!" I don't think that would fly today.
I thought that we chicks didn't have to deal with all of this "jock" silliness. Except now that I am signed up for women's hockey, I have to go and buy myself something called a "jill". Jock and Jill -how cleaver! A jill is bigger than a jock, and also called a pelvis protector; it is sort of soft and padded, and looks a little like a bicycle seat. All new to me, this weird and wonderful world of sporting equipment.
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Dear Toronto Raccoons:
Published April 25, 2009 @ 12:49 in
To the Bandits in my neighbourhood:
I just want to know - who was your representative on Toronto City Council who lobbied for the green bins? She should definitely be our next mayor. Clever, very clever.
I am glad that you seem to enjoy all of my children's leftovers. Do we really have the best garbage on the street? And the way that you ate that old avocado leaving just the pit and the peel was amazing! I thought that I could deter you by throwing dirty diapers right on top of the food, but you still manage to sniff out the good stuff.
A few weeks ago, when the weather was still cool, I noticed you out late evening looking scrawny and timid. Then last night - WOW! At least thirty pounds, and ready to take me on! High school football coaches should be coming to you for weight advice. However, I would actually appreciate it if you at least pretended to be a little afraid of me; run, don't amble when you try to fit under my car.
About our green bins. You have destroyed them. And stolen them. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to wonder the neighbourhood in my pajamas, sweeping up my old food remains, searching for my green bin? The garbage men complain about taking my heavy bins from the curb to their truck, but you have no problems dragging them four houses down the block.
As flattered as I am that you obviously love my green bin best, and that you find our cat friendly and accessible, I really must ask that you consider the impact that your behaviour has on our family. What I am trying to say, delicately, please stop pooping around our home! Aren't there enough bushes in the neighbourhood for that?
I know the City has made it illegal for your to be shot, or even trapped and released more than a few kilometres from your home (another great lobbying effort), but my patience is wearing thin.
Take this letter as a warning. This summer, my garbage and green bins will be on lock-down. Found some other homeowner to harass. I am not above using mothballs, ammonia, and cayenne pepper. I may even ask my husband to urinate around the backyard. How would you like that?
Signed,
A Frustrated Toronto Homeowner
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A benefit of Human Cloning
Published April 24, 2009 @ 14:43 in Amazing Kids
In the news...
Human cloning. In the past, I was firmly against human cloning. But after spending some time on my spring and summer calendar, I have actually found a need for it.
Son One needs to be cloned. He loves being busy, and has never said no to an activity. The problem is that as he gets older, and more competitive, it isn't a single time slot for each. Lacrosse is the easiest, as it only runs on Saturdays. But it could be from 11 am - 4 pm. We just got the T-Ball schedule, and even without additional practices, he could have games any day of the week. There are already 4 conflicts between T-Ball and Lacrosse.
Next I added soccer. Keep in mind, this is still Son One. More T-Ball/Soccer conflicts. Then summer hockey - Soccer/Hockey conflicts.
I have determined that I need at least 3 versions of Son One to attend all off his games, 4 if I want all of the practices attended as well. Maybe I should just have a version of Son One made for each of his sports. Except that he actually likes playing all of them, so I would have to rotate the clones so they have fun.
I should also clone myself 4 or 5 times. This would allow me to drive him everywhere, and still take Son Two to soccer, hockey or t-ball (BTW I also need to clone Son Two as there is a T-Ball/Hockey conflict in his schedule). Maybe with a 6th clone I could even spend some time with Daughter.
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Webkinz SUCKS!
Published April 24, 2009 @ 14:17 in Shopping and Stuff
My kids all have these crazy Webkinz stuffed animals. They were between $15 and $20 each, and we have over 20 of them in the house. We also went through a year when we purchased webkinz for almost every birthday or Christmas present. Ganz Toys - You do the math.
The appeal with Webkinz is that you have access to this online world where you take care of your pets, feed them, and create a home for them. If you don't visit for a while, your pet may get ill and need to visit the doctor. The kids can also play games to get webkinz money so that they can pay for more virtual stuff.
Son One first got into this when he started kindergarten - our first experience with peer-pressure. Son Two, of course, wanted one next. Son One actually convinced Son Two to spend all of his webkinz money buying stuff, and then mailing it to Son One's webkinz. I was actually so stunned at his deviousness that I wasn't sure whether to punish or congratulate him on his cleverness. When in doubt, punish.
Today I tried to log daughter into Webkinz world. There is one game that she thinks she can play. (Last year for Easter Daughter got a bunny webkinz.) Apparently, you need to buy a new webkinz at least once a year to keep you account active. All of the webkinz money daughter has accumulated - GONE!
I can understand the account disappearing if it hasn't been used for a year. But to close an account because a new purchase hasn't been made - what kind of evil marketers are these webkinz people? She is only three - you fools! Ganz toys - You suck. Webkinz people, I am very, very disappointed in you. Guess what we won't be buying again.
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Daddy - Saving the planet one light bulb at a time!
Published April 23, 2009 @ 18:48 in Loving Daddy
Yesterday was Earth Day. I mentioned a few ways that I try to be kind to Mother Earth.
Here is a glimpse of Husband's environmental/economic strategy:
He doesn't change the light bulbs when they burn out. He leaves them, until it gets so dark in our house that I trip on something and threaten to sue.
Yes, I could change them myself. In the past, I have. But now it is Husband's job, and as his list of jobs seems so much shorter than mine, I am not going to take on another one. (See? I can learn to be passive-aggressive!)
Husband claims that this reduces our energy use, therefore reducing our energy bill (economical and environmental), plus we purchase fewer light bulbs (economic).
Please tell me - which of us is the idiot?
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Yes, Daughter is smarter than Daddy
Published April 23, 2009 @ 18:11 in Amazing Kids, Loving Daddy
My daughter is officially smarter than her father. You see, today she was tired, so she put herself to bed.
This is something that her father, over 30 years older and much more experienced with sleep, cannot do.
I don't get it. My husband really can't put the kids to bed. Since we had kids, his theory has always been that eventually they will be tired enough to fall asleep, and then he can pick them up and carry them to bed. Great. Except now we have a 7 year old who is 70 lbs. When I go out, I actually come home as late as possible because I want to increase my chances that all of the kids are asleep. Weeknights with Daddy that could be 10:30 pm.
We've had this argument, I mean, discussion, dozens of times since Son One was born. I believe that our kids need to get to bed at a decent time with a normalized bedtime routine. In seven years this hasn't happened. One of my points in favour of earlier bedtimes is that we could spend some quiet husband/wife bonding time together. Not enticing enough of an argument to be persuasive to Husband.
Husband grew up with a bed in his kitchen (???) and would often nap there after breakfast. Obviously, when it comes to sleep, we are from different planets.
Now, we have some complications. Husband works shifts, and is only actually here for bedtimes a little more than half the time. The problem is that when he is around for bedtime, he isn't often around for morning, so he doesn't deal with the impact of the laissez-faire bedtimes.
Here is Daughter, who was tired this afternoon, so she put herself to bed.
Daughter had a trying afternoon, which accounts for her nap need. She had her ballet class, and we were running late because I stopped to talk to another mom I know on the way there (my kids really hate that, BTW). The teacher went to close the door, and waved to my daughter saying, "See you in a minute!"
Daughter interpreted the wave as her teacher saying 'good-bye' so she thought she wasn't allowed in class. I carried her in, but she refused to participate for the first 25 minutes. She sat in the middle of the floor and pouted. (What a drama queen! I would have pouted in the corner.) With 5 minutes left she decided to participate, and all was well. But the drama did exhaust her out.
Because of the nap, she will be up late tonight. This means, of course, that she will be tucked in beside me as I watch Private Practice. And when she falls asleep I will have Daddy carry her to bed.
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Breastfeeding, Breast Milk, and Breast Cancer
Published April 23, 2009 @ 16:49 in Being Mommy
There are things that we don't like to talk about. Women, and mothers especially, feel so guilty about what we do and what we don't to right. Normally I don't talk about my breasts, but I wanted to share some information that is sort of surprising to me, and I don't know why we don't know it.
- Best Age to Reproduce
- Breastfeeding Reduces Risk of Breast Cancer
- Quality of Breast Milk and Mother's Diet
1. Best Age to Reproduce
Even though teen girls are fertile, the optimal age for human female reproduction is in our twenties. Fertility actually starts to decline by age 31, and is in significant decline by age 35. Your chances of having a baby after age 45 with you own eggs is pretty much nil.
A study of fertility rate by age in women was published in 1957. The study was on a large population that never used birth control. The investigators measured the relationship between the age of the female partner and fertility. This study found:
* By age 30, 7% of couples were infertile
* By age 35, 11% of couples were infertile
* By age 40, 33% of couples were infertile
* At age 45, 87% of couples were infertile
Reference: Tietze C: Reproductive span and rate of conception among Hutterite women. Fertility and Sterility 1957;8:89-97.
But see, by telling you this, I am putting pressure on you to reproduce before you may be ready, so it is unfair to give you this information. Better to keep you in the dark and have you pay through the nose for fertility treatments because no one is telling us why we shouldn't wait. I am not saying everyone is in the position to start reproducing in their 20s, I am just saying it is the way our bodies were designed.
Advanced Fertility dot com
2. Breastfeeding Reduces Breast Cancer Risk
When I had my first, I remember reading a poster on the wall of the maternity ward that said if a woman breastfeed for 6 years, starting in her 20s, she could eliminate her risk of breast cancer. I am not sure how accurate that it, but there are many studies that have looked at why our breast cancer rates are so much higher in the Western world than developing countries. Two factors came out of the study: 1) Western woman have fewer children; and, 2) Western women don't breast feed as long.
Again, by publicizing this information, we may be putting undo pressure on women to have more children, and make women who can't breast feed feel even guiltier. However, if you read these links, you will see that we could halve the number of cases of breast cancer if women just breastfeed six months longer.
Pub Med dot com
Cancer Help dot org
3. Quality of Breast Milk and Mother's Diet
It is no surprise to my husband and his family, with their long history in dairy farming, that there are two factors determining milk production and quality: 1) diet; and, 2) genetics. Different cows produce milk with different levels of fat. So do mothers.
What is alarming is that mothers, especially those who seem weight obsessed and diet concerned during breast feeding, could be feeding their babies skim milk. Breast milk can actually range in fat from 2% to 9% depending on the mother's diet. To all of those skinny mummies out there eating non-fat tofu diets - listen up! Your baby might be better off on formula than breast milk if you are not eating enough fat and calories. You are putting your own body image issues and quest for thinness ahead of your child's ability to grow, thrive and develop. Especially as we know how important fat is to the brain development of our children in their first few years of life.
Oh, wait. We aren't supposed to criticize mothers for what they are doing - especially if they are trying to breast feed - which we want to support.
Alive dot com
Look, motherhood is a mine field. We are so judgmental and critical of one another, but then our doctors are afraid to tell us the truth. They want to support our ability to reproduce when we want, but without the facts of our bodies and their limitations. They want us to subject our tender breasts to evil mammogram squishing machines, but are afraid to tell us to have more babies sooner and breast feed longer because we could actually significantly reduce our risks. They want us to breast feed, because breast is best, but don't warn women how our obsessions with diet could have major developmental effects on our baby if our salads aren't giving them enough fat.
I hope after reading this you have a better understanding of how your breasts were designed to work. Appreciate them! They work hard for you and your children. Stop pretending that they are just more toys for your husband.
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Earth Day
Published April 22, 2009 @ 16:54 in Being Mommy
Happy Earth Day!
I am a big fan of Mother Earth. But I have to admit that I abuse her regularly. I use far too much power. I drive when I should walk. I don't turn off the water when I brush my teeth. I leave my computer on. I rewash clean clothes. I leave lots of lights on. I like to be warm in the winter, and cool in the summer. I use disposal diapers.
That being said, our eco-foot-print isn't all bad. We don't commute to work. We have five people who live in 1400 square feet (and we don't even use all of that.) We don't wash our vehicles in the driveway (actually, we don't really wash them at all.) I never, ever, litter. I carry my recycling home if there is nowhere to recycle. I tried cloth diapers. I actually do a little laundry as possible! I don't bathe my kids daily - and when I do, they all go in together. I use public transit often when I need to go downtown. I bring my grocery bags or bins when I go shopping.
OK, OK. I am no angel when it comes to being green. There is so much more I can do. And my kids are now getting to the age when they are starting to point things out. Now I have to tell them about the olden days, when there was no recycling, garbage pickup was every week and there were no limits!
I don't want to leave my kids a big pile of my junk. I don't want to leave them a dirty, smelly planet without tigers and rinos and whales. This Earth Day I will vow to try harder to be a friend, and not an abuser, of Mother Earth. After all, we moms have to stick together.
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Thank you very much. Here's my cheque.
Published April 22, 2009 @ 15:42 in Kids Activities
Many of the activities which my children are involved in are run by volunteers - hockey, T-ball, soccer, lacrosse, and Beavers. How often do the rest of us thank them? Or help out a little when we can?
These activities could not run without the volunteers. Every week I drop Son One off at Beavers, knowing that there will be adults there to work and play with him. Every sporting team has a team of coaches working together for practices and games. My kids would be really bored if there were no volunteers.
Recently I sent a brief, emailed, thank you to Son Two's lacrosse coach. I just wanted to thank him and let him know how much my son is enjoying it. His response was immediate. The coach said that he never hears from parents except when they complain that he isn't doing enough, or doing something wrong. Isn't that too bad?
I try to thank the coaches regularly, both in person, by card, and email. I wish that I was rich and could buy them each a lavish thank-you gift, but besides some Tim Horton's gift cards or donating into a group gift, I just can't. I am thrilled by the time and effort these adults, with their own full time jobs and families, put into my kids having great experiences. The least I can do is say thank you.
Besides saying thanks, the best thing that you can do it to pay in full on time. Thank you parents of mine! I was never one of those kids who got the green or yellow paper saying, "please send a cheque to the next class." (BTW - is it just me or does it seem that the wealthier people were, the less likely they were to pay on time?)
As parents, we model acceptable behaviour for our kids. I see so many parents complaining about how things are run, or doing their best to get away with stuff. Why not thank our coaches and volunteers often and sincerely? If you see someone doing an outstanding job, let them know! It is really the least that we can do. Thank you very much. Here's my cheque.
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Mommy's visit to the dentist
Published April 21, 2009 @ 17:45 in Being Mommy
Today I went to the dentist. I used to wonder why people hated dentists so much; now I know.
I actually like my dentist. However, for the past two plus years I have been putting off going. Claiming to be too busy, I just didn't like the drive out there, the wait, and then the drive home. It got to be a joke in our house now that we have call display - we would hide when the dentist's office called to book our check-ups.
A year and half ago I had some horrific periodontal surgeries which did nothing to increase my comfort of the dentist's chair. I also had braces as a teenager, my wisdom teeth out, and a really painful experience with an extraction at 12.
My kids are great at the dentist. Last week Son One had a cavity filled without any freezing or laughing gas - such a trooper! The kids have such quick, short visits. Counting the teeth. Polish. Floss. Rinse. Fluoride. Dentist comes in - and DONE! Twenty minutes tops, start to finish. And they get to watch Sponge Bob.
Today I watched (but couldn't hear) two Seinfeld episodes; Sponge-Worthy and Movie Phone. The dental hygienist poked and picked at my teeth until my gums bleed. She used some high power water pick and that sucker thing that kept latching onto my cheek. Apparently, when you skip going to the dentist for 2 1/2 years you get a little calcified plaque below the gumline. I'm even a flosser!
I even lied to the dentist. Because it had been so long since my last visit, they wanted some x-rays to look for cavities between the teeth. I sort of hinted that I wasn't sure it was good idea since you never know, I could be pregnant. Before my family reading this has a cow, for the record, I AM SO NOT PREGNANT! But it got me out of x-rays.
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School Uniforms
Published April 21, 2009 @ 14:57 in School
Tomorrow I am attending a meeting to discuss the issue of school uniforms for the Toronto District Catholic School Board.
I don't understand the debate. Why would one be against the idea of uniforms in elementary school?
My kids don't wear uniforms, but if this idea goes through, they could be in navy and white by 2011. Growing up I wore a uniform from grade one through four, and again from grade ten through thirteen. I really don't remember complaining.
Sure, I bet it was a pain from a laundry perspective to have navy socks or tights and white blouses always clean. But I am sure our parents spent a lot less on clothes. And I think it really was less distracting to sit in a room with everyone dressed alike; certainly there was no competition for designer labels when everyone's shirts were the same see-through 50/50 cotton/poly blend.
Generally I think that uniforms look neater then casual dress (except for those high school girls with the barely-there kilts - come on!) I don't think that uniforms impede or limit creativity. Kids can still express themselves in many ways while wearing navy pants and white shirts, and can express themselves through their wardrobes after school and on weekends.
I want to attend this meeting tomorrow because I want to see if there will even be a debate, or if it will just be a bunch a parents drinking coffee and eating donuts saying, "Yeah, I think uniforms are a great idea."
I'll keep you posted!
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10th Anniversary of Columbine
Published April 20, 2009 @ 19:56 in School
Today marks the 10th Anniversary of the Columbine School Massacre.
Today my thoughts and prayers are with all of the victims and their families.
Most of us can easily go back to the day and remember the fear, the terror and the shock. A few years later I attended a conference in Denver. I actually stayed at a hotel in Columbine; it is like a suburb of Denver. During my visit I noticed that then, even years later, the name Columbine was whispered, sending chills up the spine.
Recently I read Wally Lamb's latest novel (work of fiction) titled, The Hour I First Believed. The main character is a teacher who works at Columbine High School, he is visiting a sick aunt out of town during the attack. His wife, however, was the school nurse and present. An amazing read.
A few weeks ago I wrote a post about bullying (I pulled it down wanted to rewrite it to be more eloquent). Specifically I wrote about shock at a local incident involving a child who brought weapons to school. This grade seven student claimed to have been bullied for years, but there was no evidence. My shock came from the community's response - not outrage at this child, but sympathy for this boy as a victim. I had mothers from the school insist to me that this was a "non-event" and they were upset by the police charging this child and issuing a press release.
I know many schools now have new policies to deal with bullying; but they also have new lockdown policies. My kids learned in JK where to hide in their classrooms. Sad, isn't it?
Police have also changed policies based on Columbine; now they enter as soon as they arrive, putting themselves in increased danger but trying to have fewer civilian casualties.
When Columbine happened 10 years ago, I wasn't a mother. My perspective on the shooting was that of the students. Now, as I mother, I see the event from so many angles. I don't want my child to be bullied. I don't want my child to be a bully. I want them to be safe when they go to school. I want them to grow up happy and healthy.
So much was lost to so many 10 years ago. Let's keep Columbine and all of the victims of all of the school shootings in our thoughts and prayers tonight. Light a candle and remember.
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K.I.S.S.
Published April 20, 2009 @ 15:58 in Amazing Kids
Husband and I were sitting at the kitchen table. I was trying to have a conversation while he was trying to read a magazine.
Suddenly, we hear a loud scream out of daughter followed by crying, then two little feet running up from the basement.
"What happened?" we asked Son Two as he whizzed by on his way upstairs.
"I just need to get her a band-aid," he replied, running to the upstairs bathroom.
I, of course, was on my feet immediately and over to the basement door. Daughter was coming up the stairs, crying. I noticed no blood. She was holding her index finger erect.
"What happened?" I asked, scooping her into my arms.
"He bit me," she answered.
Son Two came down. Empty handed.
"What happened?" I asked, again.
"I couldn't find a band-aid."
"No - I mean downstairs. Your sister said that you bit her."
"Well, she was just giving me something to eat and she didn't take her fingers out; she was giving me something to eat, like a tic tac, and the first one I ate but the second time she was giving it to me with her fingers and she didn't take her fingers out of my mouth fast enough and then my mouth started to close like this and her fingers were still there."
I remember back in business school I had a communications prof. who always said the key is to be clear and concise (I can't remember if it was Keep It Simple, Stupid or Keep It Stupid Simple).
I think Daughter nailed it. Son Two was going for the, "how can I say that I bit her without it actually sounding like I bit her" answer.
"Just say 'sorry' to her, OK?" I said.
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No more questions, please!
Published April 20, 2009 @ 13:15 in Amazing Kids, Being Mommy
Today I felt like a politician being battered to answer questions when they just don't know!
On the subway ride downtown this morning with Son Two, the questions started:
What is the sharpest thing in the word? What is the pointiest? What else is sharp? How sharp is it? What else is sharp? How pointy is it? How sharp is it? What is the sharpest thing in the world? (I swear we made the woman seated beside us a little nervous - she probably thinks he was quizzing me for weapons.) Then the questions changed tangents. Who is the smartest person in the world? What did he do? How do you know? How did Tiger get to be the best golfer in the world? Is he the best? etc. through 10 subway stops.
We went through the "why" stage with all of the kids around two. I think we handled it OK. The easiest was that since they were only two, when you got tired of answering, you could just distract or redirect them. Now, at age 5, Son Two wants detailed answers to everything.
Yesterday it was the tallest building in the world. Where in the world is it? How many floors? Taller than the CN Tower? What used to be the tallest tower? And so on, etc. We were at home, and I had Google and Wikpedia to help me find the answers.
On the walk home, in the pouring rain, he kept going. What is the hardest thing to do in the world? Can everyone do it? Is it climbing the CN Tower? What is the steepest hill? Where is it? What is the smallest hill? How do you measure hills? Where are the steepest roads? Have you been there?
I was cold, wet, and I had had enough. Bad mommy moment:
"Enough. Stop asking me questions. Ask Daddy when we get home."
I try so hard sometimes to be patient, but I think my quota must be around 100 questions a day, and he had reached it by 10:30 am. Plus, it doesn't do a lot for my self-esteem to see how few of his questions I can actually answer before I have to start making stuff up. (I know - the right answer is, "let's look it up when we get home.")
I am glad he is curious and creative. I just needed a break. No more questions, please!
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BBQ Time
Published April 19, 2009 @ 17:36 in Kids Activities, Recipes
For lunch today we turned on the BBQ to make some hot dogs and hamburgers.
Except that daughter, who has been eating chicken fingers twice a day for the past week, insisted on chicken fingers. And Son Two prefers his hot dogs boiled, not on the BBQ. Why do we bother?
Husband and I enjoyed the BBQ - except I was all out of pickles. What is a burger without pickles?
It has been an exhausting weekend, except that I haven't really done much. I think the nice weather is taking it out of me. Sitting around in all of that fresh air watching the kids run around. Boy, I am really beat.
At least the hockey season is officially over. The boys won their house league championship game yesterday, and now I have these two huge trophies to dust. This doesn't mean that we are done with hockey for the summer, it just means that there are no more games until the fall.
I asked my husband if there is a service where we can send the equipment for cleaning. He recommended that I just check the labels and wash it. Thanks, just what I needed. More laundry.
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A shopping field trip
Published April 17, 2009 @ 13:46 in Shopping and Stuff
Yesterday I went shopping to Sherway Gardens, a mall in the west end. I saw all of these teenagers in yellow T-shirts. Yep, a school field trip to a mall. Why didn't they have these when I was in school?
I am not sure what the purpose was, but it may have been sex education given the 20 or so teen boys who stood in front of La Senza staring at the lingerie clad mannequins (I thought they were usually in pajamas, but not yesterday.) It was actually very funny walking by a swarm of boys, drinking their pops and milkshakes, staring at the mannequins. I am pretty sure that the manager of La Senza wasn't thrilled.
I remember a choir trip to England was I was 14. On the second last day, we were given the choice of a tour of the Tower of London, or a shopping afternoon. I chose the shopping. To this day I have never seen the Tower of London, but I hear it is pretty cool. I think I went to Harrods, another London tourist attraction.
At 12:30 pm, all the yellow T-shirted students were loaded onto a school bus and went back to school. What a fun way to spend the morning.
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Maclean's Mail Bag
Published April 17, 2009 @ 12:52 in Amazing Kids
I am not sure I have ever seen as many responses to an article as I found today in Maclean's mail bag.
OMG!!! What Happened To Teenagers? Was an interesting collection of articles which tried to present a snapshot of current Canadian teens. The subhead read, "They're drinking less, smoking less, having less sex. An exclusive report on a momentous social shift."
In Maclean's mail bag, the articles seemed to have offend teenagers and like minded adults who felt as if sex, drugs, and alcohol are an important part of growing up. There are some really dumb comments, like, "Growing up, I found that sex, drugs, and alcohol were important aspects of my life that helped me mature and find my place." Really?
I remember back in high school that out of over 200 girls in my year, one sometimes smoked up on weekends, courtesy of her older brother, and the rest of us were shocked that she brought a joint to school. Drinking was more prevalent, but not amongst 13 and 14 year-olds. And sex before 16 seemed to be unheard of. I don't think that we were pure or unusual. I don't even think we were particularly well behaved. By grade thirteen there was much more sex and alcohol, but we were 18 and 19 years old!
Getting up on my soapbox - I blame parents who want to be their children's friends, not their parents. Parents who "remember what it was like" and "we did it - no big deal." Parents are more open to drugs being legalized than teens, and I think we send conflicting messages. Plus, parents find it easier to give their teens freedom to make their own choices, mostly because it gives them more time to do what they want.
I worry about the attitudes towards drinking and drugs, specifically for young teens. We have a high school near us where kids smoke up outside in the morning, and the police drive by because there is no point in doing anything about it. I take my kids to a parkette near my house, and there are always groups of teens smoking up in the middle of the day, not even trying to conceal the behaviour. I asked a group of teens not to smoke up on my front lawn one day, and got attitude while they crossed the street. The LCBO near us always has teens trading money and bottles on the bench right outside the door.
In my opinion, there is something wrong with a 14 year old smoking up; there is something wrong with a 14 year old drinking alcohol; and, there is something wrong with a 14 year old having sex.
Let's give them better experiences to help them mature into happy, healthy adults. Try competitive sports, outdoor activities, volunteering, travel, arts and drama. I consider those much better outlets for teen energy than sex, drugs and alcohol.
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Oprah and Teen Sex
Published April 17, 2009 @ 12:47 in Amazing Kids
Teen Sex. Wow Oprah, what a great show. Husband watched the first part with me (he was taking a nap after work and I came in and turned on the TV.)
Yesterday's show was about these two teens, 14 year old boyfriend and girlfriend, and whether or not they would have sex.
The teens held hands, flanked by their mothers. I found the teens very articulate and intelligent, though obviously they are just 14. I thought that the girl's mother was a bit of a dolt (sort of hate to judge since I don't know her so it isn't really fair, but sometimes I am judgy.) She said that she was surprised that her daughter was dating because she was only 14 and didn't seem to be interested in boys.
Huh???? I think was interested in boys by 11! However, I do have to say that by 14 I was still thinking of maybe kissing some guy or dancing slow; sex wasn't even on my radar.
Dr. Laura Berman helped Oprah lead the discussion, and asked the following 8 questions:
- Why do you want to take it to the next level now?
- How long do the two of you plan to stay together?
- Are you prepared for the emotions you might feel afterward?
- Have you talked about condoms?
- Are you prepared with two forms of birth control?
- Have you talked about what happens if you get pregnant?
- Do you understand sexually transmitted diseases?
- Are both of you absolutely sure that neither one of you has been with anyone else sexually in any way?
At the end of the conversation, it seemed the like girl, who was shocked that a long time meant to her boyfriend that we would be with her for 6 months to a year, decided that she wasn't sure she wanted to give up her virginity just yet. Also, her response to what happens if you get pregnant, "I don't even want to think about it" shows a lack of readiness to deal with the consequences.
I don't have teens yet, but even my husband and I were able to ask each other questions to see if we were on the same page in dealing with our kids and sex issues. We both agree that 14 is far to young for sex, but also want to make sure to talk to kids about sex, early and often. Personally, I think anything to get people talking about it is better than being afraid of the topic. Congrats, Oprah.
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Breakfast for Daughter
Published April 17, 2009 @ 07:55 in Recipes
Yesterday for breakfast Daughter ate, and ate, and ate. Maybe she is growing. I only gave her a glass of milk for lunch.
Breakfast 1 - 7:45 am
3 chicken fingers
Breakfast 2 - 8:00 am
cereal - corn pops - no milk
Breakfast 3 - 8:45 am
2 eggo waffles
Breakfast 4 - 9:20 am
3 hotcakes and 1 hash brown - McDonald's
Have I mentioned how tiny daughter is?
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My Daughter and diapers
Published April 16, 2009 @ 12:47 in Amazing Kids, Being Mommy
Sometimes I get into these discussions with my daughter that I just won't win. Really, when you argue with a three year-old, remember that you are arguing with a three year-old.
This morning I was trying to open my eyes. Daughter came running to me:
Daughter: I need to go pee! BADLY!
Me: Mumble, mumble, I think you are wearing a diaper. (Note: Normally Daughter sleeps in underwear, but last night she chose a diaper.)
Daughter: I want to pee in the potty NOW!
I take her to the potty, and pull off her diaper. It is soaked. I sit her on the potty.
Daughter: Why is my diaper wet?
Me: You must have peed last night.
Daughter: No I didn't. I didn't pee last night.
Me: Well, how do you think your diaper got wet?
Daughter: You got it wet!
Me: I put a dry diaper on you last night.
Daughter: No you not! You put a wet diaper on me last night. I didn't pee!
Me: Honey, the diaper was dry when I put it on you. (Why am I arguing with a three year-old about pee at 7 am?)
Daughter: You put me in a yucky wet diaper! I DIDN'T PEE!
Me: OK. My mistake. I am sorry.
As much as I hate buying diapers for a girl who should really be using the potty all of the time, I swear that I have never reused diapers. It drives me more than a little crazy to throw out diapers in the morning that were worn, but dry, all night. But reusing wet diapers? I once had this other mom at the wading pool at the park recommend that we re-use the swim diapers by drying them out. I was a little grossed out.
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Play-date from Hell - update
Published April 15, 2009 @ 14:52 in Amazing Kids
This weekend the boy who was responsible for our play-date from hell kept asking for another play-date.
We were playing in our backyard, as the weather was so beautiful, and he kept yelling over his fence. I did my best to ignore him, but then his mother came out and asked over the fence if we could arrange something.
I answered, "Son Two really doesn't want to."
Husband, who was outside, turned to look at me like I was evil. "He can come over and play in the backyard with us," he said.
Son Two said, "No, I don't want him to. He is my worst friend."
I came inside a called the mother. Much more civilized than yelling over a few backyards.
"Son Two is going through a lot right now, and really doesn't want to have a play-date."
"Really? Oh. OK. I hope it has nothing to do with being bitten last time. I should have called, but I didn't find out until the next day."
"That could be it. He just doesn't want a play date, and I am not going to force him."
How many months later is it? Yes, you should have called when you found out. You should have brought your son over to apologize.
I asked Son Two if he would consider a play date if the other boy apologized. Obviously, the pain still fresh in his mind, he answered, "there are some things that you just can't apologize for." A little overly dramatic, but I see his point.
For now I am out of having to plan a play date, and I don't feel the need to cross to the other side of the street when I walk by their house anymore.
I am working on my mommy backbone. Anything to save my kids some pain.
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There is something wrong with my kid - YAY!
Published April 15, 2009 @ 14:28 in Amazing Kids
Yesterday I found out that there is something wrong with Son Two, and I immediately felt such a sense of relief.
Weird reaction? Maybe.
For the past three years we have been struggling with Son Two's speech. We have been to five different speech pathologists for assessments or treatments, an audiologist to rule out hearing issues, and finally an Otolaryngologist (or Ear Nose and Throat Specialist.)
Before yesterday, we struggled to understand why our son's speech was so unintelligible.
- We have had an audiologist suggest that we should look into learning difficulties, and imply that there may be a social disorder involved (hinting at autism.)
- His kindergarten teacher spoke to me after the first week and told me that, "he is the weakest in the class."
- The latest was his current speech pathologist, who last week told me that my son, "just wasn't normal," and I should consider an occupational therapist.
My son has become frustrated and insecure throughout this process. It has broken our hearts to watch him struggling to make himself understood, only to have people ignore him or write him off as unintelligent because they can't understand him.
Finally, yesterday, we met with an amazing doctor. Her first test was to have him say some words while she held a mirror under his nose. Completely fogged up. She then looked up his nose while he said some words, and into his throat.
Diagnosis? Velopharyngeal incompetence. Hypernasality from a deep nasopharynx.
All of his speech struggles can be attributed to VPI, what is considered a resonance disorder. All of the pieces of the puzzle have fallen into place.
Son Two should grow into it as he ages. Or if it hasn't improved my grade two, there is a small procedure that can be done to help. (BTW - don't you love the way doctors no longer call it an operation - everything is a "procedure.")
We still will continue with aggressive speech therapy, though I think we will give him a nice, long break when his current session ends.
It is such a relief to find out that is something very minor wrong with him, instead of worrying that he will never speak clearly and there is nothing we can do to help. It helps us know what we are dealing with, and what we can expect.
Yesterday I found out that Son Two isn't perfect - and I couldn't be happier!
P.S. If it turns out that this is hereditary, then he got it from Husband.
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Help! I am scared!
Published April 14, 2009 @ 09:54 in Being Mommy
What have I gotten myself into?
I am scared, nervous, and afraid of the pain.
What if it is too hard? What if I can't handle it?
What if I make a fool of myself?
What if it is no fun?
How did this happen?
Hockey. Women's Hockey. What was I thinking?
The truth is that I didn't want to be left out of any plans even a little bit social - God forbid I miss out on fun. And I sort of think that they actually needed me to get everything organized. And watching my sons skate around to hours every week made it look fun, and easy.
I don't skate. I can sort of skate, but I don't. I am not even athletic. Sure, I played tennis and softball in high school, and I run sometimes, but did I mention that I have asthma? And that I am little older than I was in high school?
I used to hate skating. In elementary school (I am sure this will mortify my parents) I used to lie and say that I didn't have skates when the class went skating. Yes, I lied to my teachers to get out of doing something that I really, really didn't want to do.
Now I love watching my husband and the boys skate. They are so powerful and graceful. I keep trying to convince the boys to try figure skating with their sister. They would be beautiful, and she is small. No dice.
Wednesday nights we will take the to ice at 10:15 pm, a time when I am usually in bed. We have a coach. We are ordering jerseys. I will need to get some equipment mostly to protect myself when I fall.
I blame Son One. Before a tournament game, he was missing a glove. I needed to buy him new gloves just to get him on the ice. $65 gloves! I bought the size up because I knew we would find his other glove, and I couldn't justify spending $65 on gloves when he already has great ones that fit. Now I have $65 gloves! I just need a stick, helmet, shoulder pads, shin guards, hockey shorts, and skates. Oh yeah - something called a jill.
I am scared.
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Taking the kids
Published April 14, 2009 @ 08:07 in Amazing Kids, Shopping and Stuff
Yesterday I was old Mother Hubbard. Except that we have a cat instead of a dog. But the cupboards were bare.
Last night my plan was to leave after sushi to run out to the grocery store so that we could eat today. I knew it was a little crazy. With the stores closed on Friday and Sunday, I knew it would be busy, but I couldn't put it off any longer.
I wrote my list, gathered my bags, and went to leave. Three little children, who really wanted to go grocery shopping at 8 pm last night, followed me.
They each got a job to do: Son One - the list; Son Two - the bags; and, Daughter - stop crying or I will leave you at home with your father.
Lately I have been getting off easy. Either I take Daughter to the grocery store while her brothers are at school, or I go alone when Husband is home. Last night they wanted to come, and I was pretty sure it would be find.
First, they each got to pick one treat that Son One added to the list (at first I find it hard when he became literate as Husband and I could no longer spell everything we didn't want the kids to know, but now it comes in handy.) On the drive I explained the regular rules to them: we stick together; no fighting; no yelling; and no running.
Daughter sat in the cart, while the boys picked out the items. We had a 10-minute wait at the deli counter, and I think that they kept most people entertained. The kids were actually better behaved than some of the adults at the store.
After 45 minutes, we lined up to pay. They wanted to do the self-checkout, but I had a full cart and I really wanted them home in bed.
As soon as we were in line, the compliments started:
Oh, they are so beautiful!
You are all such good helpers to mommy.
Look at them all!
You should be the coach for the Leafs! You do a great job with your team.
And then comments change:
You really have your hands full.
You brought the whole team shopping?
You are so brave.
How many are there?
Is it so shocking for one person to be responsible for 3 kids? OK, maybe there is a certain bravery required to be a parent, but I don't really count grocery shopping. They are 3, 5, and 7 - all of them can listen and follow direction. Plus, they are my kids! I shouldn't have had three kids if I could take them all somewhere and get things done. Yes, it is hard sometimes. If I really need back-up, there is Husband and Nana - but that is usually in response to the all of them not wanted to go somewhere, or the place we are going needed to be just me, or just me and one child (like a specialist's appointment.)
Yesterday I went shopping for a few hours with my new running friends. They were glad that I was able to come, and commented on how wonderful my husband was to stay home with the three kids. They are his kids! He is parenting, not babysitting. If he wasn't able to watch all three, we shouldn't have had three.
As the kids get older, it gets easier and easier to go places with them. It also gets easier and easier to find someone to leave them with. I am starting to find a freedom that I thought I had lost forever when my first son was born, but I can actually have some time to myself without feeling guilty.
They have learned that if they behave, they are more likely to be taken along to different places than left behind. Win-win. I look like a super amazing mom for being able to keep all of the kids in line, the kids are able to go different places and sometimes even get stuff.
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Sushi
Published April 13, 2009 @ 18:53 in Amazing Kids, Around the House
Tonight we had sushi for dinner. I didn't have many options. My fridge is so bare that I had to buy milk at a gas station yesterday. We have no chicken, no hotdogs, no fruit, no bread, no waffles and no pancake mix. Those are all staples in my home. By unanimous vote, we ordered sushi for dinner.
All of my kids love "sushi". The youngest two get plain rice maki, and the oldest gets avocado maki. Nothing crazy - nothing raw or fishy. Back when I had more patience and time, we used to make sushi with the kids at home. I have learned that some things are easier to order.
During pregnancy, I loved sushi. Of course I ate nothing that was raw - terrified of toxoplasmosis! However, I probably ate sushi at least once a week. I also ate butter chicken regularly, any kind of curry, and pad thai. I introduced all of my children to pad thai, butter chicken, and avocado rolls before their first birthdays. Now I have kids who would often rather order sushi than pizza, and a son who takes left over butter chicken to school in a thermos.
I love being able to get great ethnic food anywhere in Toronto. To me it is one of the amazing benefits of living in a multicultural city, and my kids are encourage to at least try things (calamari was not a big hit.) Daughter can still be convinced that most things are chicken.
When I was growing up, spaghetti and meat balls, or other Italian foods, were about as ethnic as we got. On a trip to France when I was 16, we went to a restaurant ordered steak tartar. When it arrived it was sent back to be cooked. In university I remember ordering eggplant parmigiana and thinking myself cultured.
I think trying different foods is exciting and fun, and a great thing to do with your kids. You never know what they may end up loving. Deep fried chicken butts anyone?
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Happy Easter!
Published April 12, 2009 @ 11:37 in Amazing Kids
Was the Easter Bunny good to you?
This morning our kids woke up even earlier than Christmas! The ungodly hour 6:40 am (I am pretty sure Jesus didn't rise until 9 am.) They wanted to check to see if the Easter Bunny had come.
Last night I had pulled out all of the Easter baskets from last year. The boys went to bed and were asleep by 9:30 pm, but Daughter just wouldn't fall asleep. At 10:10 pm, Husband went downstairs to turn off the TV and turn out the lights and make sure everything was just right for the Easter Bunny. Normally the Easter Bunny is my job, but I stayed in bed with Daughter to make sure she stayed upstairs.
The kids were thrilled this morning! This is what happens when parents don't communicate very well - they each buy the Easter eggs. It was really fun watching them run around with their baskets. The two big brothers pointing eggs for their little sister. I normally leave three eggs per location, as we have three children. For some reason, Husband left two. Son Two would grab one, and give the other to his sister. Son One would grab both. He ended up with about twice as much as the other two. For the big bunnies, they each "found" one.
For breakfast they had chocolate. Husband went high end with his purchases - the Lindt chocolate eggs. I bought the big, $3 bunnies and some mini-eggs. The discussion over breakfast was how the Easter Bunny carries everything to all of the houses - the consensus was a big plane. They also discussed how the Easter Bunny gets into our house. Son One is convinced he comes down the chimney, just like Santa.
Later today we will be heading out to my sister's for Easter dinner. The boys have clean pants, and Daughter wants to wear her green dress. Should be a great day. Hope yours is, too. Happy Easter!
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Dirty Pants Day
Published April 11, 2009 @ 21:05 in Around the House, Being Mommy
Today I sunk to a new low. I wasn't sure when I last did laundry, but I was pretty sure that Son Two had worn his last clean pair for the past two days. I didn't think that I could stretch them for a third.
As we rushed out the door this morning, Husband was getting him dressed. Son Two walked down stairs in his pajama pants. Not acceptable.
I rifled through the hampers, and came up with a navy pair that didn't look too dirty and put them on him.
Tonight I decided I need to get on top of laundry. Tomorrow is Easter Sunday, and I wanted him wearing a clean pair of pants to my sister's for Easter dinner. It is always nice to look presentable for holidays.
I emptied all of the hampers and came up with only two pairs of Son Two's pants. Huh? Where could all of his pants be? I am sure that he has more than three pairs of pants (two in the hampers, plus the one I pulled from the hamper that he is still wearing.)
Grabbing some of Son One's and daughter's pants, and my only pair of jeans, I had a full load. After 40 minutes, I went to transfer the pants to the dryer.
Aha! The dryer was full of clean, dry pants belonging to all of the males in the house. I have no idea how long they have been in their, but Son Two had at least three clean pairs.
Next I just need to do a load of socks and underwear, and we could be set for the week.
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Big Kids
Published April 10, 2009 @ 21:32 in Amazing Kids
I just read a blog by another mommy blogger, and it annoyed me. Does anyone understand math? There is no such thing as 100th percentile!!!!!
What really annoyed is that this is the blog of a mother on Today's Parent's website, and she used to be an editor. I assume some level of intelligence there, so let's just hope it was a mommy brain moment.
Let me explain percentiles.
If your child is in the 99th percentile for height, for example, it means that out of 100 children the same age, your child is taller than 99 of them, or the tallest. If you try to say that your child is in the 100th percentile, or even 110th percentile (as one really dumb mother once told me), you would be incorrect. Trying to say that out of 100 children, your child is taller than all of them, including themselves, is not correct. Even worse is to claim that out of a sample of 100 children, your child in taller than 110 including himself.
Technically your child cannot be greater than the 99th percentile. If your doctor tells you that your child is in the 100th percentile, I would ask him or her to explain how that is possible. I would hope that you doctor has stronger math skills than that.
It seems like every parent, especially mothers of boys, are really into bragging how "off the charts" tall their children are. Please lets forget about comparing height! It is one thing that our children really can't control (assuming that they are eating enough!) and if they are short, it is probably because you and your spouse are short.
If, on the other side of the spectrum, your child has fallen off the chart for being small, I would say that is a cause for concern. Especially if they used to be on the chart. Doctors like to see kids stay fairly consistent in their growth pattern. A 50th percentile child stay close to the 50th, or 25th close to the 25th.
Daughter is the only one whose percentiles have raised a flag. She was born on the 75th percentile, and stayed there more or less through her first year. Her second year saw her drop down first to the 50th, then the 25th. The weird part was that through this decline, she was actually the best eater of the kids! She is now three years old, and at every visit the doctor reminds me to keep her on all full fat products and not to limit any food, even junk, to ensure that she is eating enough.
Look, I am not saying to ignore the growth charts. They have been used by doctors for a long time and they are an important tool in helping to determine the health of our children. Some interesting information? The human growth hormone is produced in bursts during the day, but released mostly during sleep - so make sure your kids are sleeping enough. Also, kids tend to grow fastest in the summer, and slowest in the fall (lucky as it is easier to get away with shorter shorts!)
What more can I say? Love your kids! And take those percentiles with a grain of salt. They are not true measure of your child, just a measurement.
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Let's Go Blue Jays!
Published April 9, 2009 @ 17:09 in Kids Activities
Today I took Son Two to a Toronto Blue Jays game at the Roger's Centre. We had these amazing tickets given to us (thank you Dave!) It was give-away day; son came home with a Jays School Pack consisting of pencil, sharpener, eraser, ruler and pencil case.
We took the subway down; it always seems to be the highlight of every trip downtown. At least today I didn't end up carrying Son Two to and from the station like last time I took the TTC to game. It is not a short walk for a 5 year old.
The game was fun. We didn't stay until the end 'cause it is just too long. However, the pitching was awful so the hitting was great, making it an exciting game to watch. Son Two is really starting to understand the game - balls, strikes, outs, runs. There were four home runs. Son Two had a $6 tub of popcorn, $5 candies, and a $6 ice cream. I had tried to convince him to try a hot dog from a street vendor before the game, but no luck. I wanted a $3 hot dog and pop combo.
The best was when a ball was fouled off right in our section, about 8 rows back and two seats over. Two grown men sort of fought over it. Son Two sat down, very disappointed. I asked him what was wrong. "You didn't even try to catch it!" he said.
At the end of the last few daytime games I have attended, they allow the kids to run around the bases. Last time it was such a thrill for the boys, but this time Son Two just wasn't going to make it to the end of the game.
The highlight for me was the one-on-one time with my son.
On the way there, I was sure to hold his hand tight while waiting at the subway stations. At St. George station he let go of my hand. I watched him pick his nose and put it in his mouth.
Me: Honey, that is gross to pick your nose and eat it.
Son Two: I wasn't eating it.
Me: Did you just put it in your mouth to taste it?
Son Two: Yeah.(I keep forgetting that kids his age don't understand sarcasm.)
Me: Well, it is still gross.
Son Two: Uh oh. It just went down my throat by accident.
Me: Yeah right.
On the subway ride home I was feeling tired. Shocking given the approximately 2 litres worth of diet coke I drank at the game.
Me: Honey, is it OK if I take a little nap?
Son Two: OK.
Me: Will you wake me up when we get to our stop?
Son Two: No. I will get off and go home and get Daddy.
Me: By the time you go and get Daddy I could be in Scarborough.
Son Two: That's OK.
Me: No it's not. You wouldn't actually get off without me, would you?
Son Two: I know my way home.
I forced myself to stay awake. I love my son, but I don't trust him not to leave me sleeping and drooling somewhere.
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Husband is aging
Published April 9, 2009 @ 09:37 in Loving Daddy
Last night I asked my husband how his hockey tournament was going. Great - they won their first two games, but he hurt his knee.
I didn't notice yesterday, but this morning I saw him limping to his car. Husband is a big, strong, tough man - it is not often that I see him vulnerable.
Me: What happened?
Daddy: I hurt it at hockey.
Me: How?
Daddy: Jumping over the boards to the ice.
Me: You know you're not a kid anymore, right?
Daddy: The boards were higher than normal.
Me: Yeah, sure.
Now he is injured, but has two more games today. Instead of R.I.C.E. (Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation) he is planning on playing.
This is not the Stanley Cup finals. He is not being payed to play. It is just a game. I wouldn't let my kids played injured, but he is an adult and can make his own decisions. Sometimes men really act like boys - and I think it gets worse the older they get.
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Best Book Club EVER!!!
Published April 9, 2009 @ 07:42 in Being Mommy
Last night our book club discussed Barnacle Love by Anthony De Sa and it was the best book club ever.
The book is sort of a collections of short stories, sort of a novel, about Manuel who comes to Canada from the Azores. The story is rich with life, and prose is beautiful. The characters and their emotions are so universal, and it covers heavy themes granting them a levity with humour. We had some great bottles of Portuguese wine with amazing sweet breads and custard tarts, too!
The highlight was that the actually author, Anthony De Sa, attended our discussion. He was open and honest, sharing with us his feelings on the writing process, his experience as a Canadian of Portuguese dissent, and on the Canadian Literary landscape. Anthony (Please - call me Anthony) is a high school English teacher whose first book, Barnacle Love, made it to the short list for the Giller Prize.
I can tell you that Anthony is an amazing story teller. He gave us background on where the characters came from, and how people keep assuming the fiction is fact. It is amazing to discuss a book with the author sitting there, being able to ask why things happened the way they did. Anthony even recommended that we invite authors to future book clubs (some request an honourarium.)
I got home just before midnight, but couldn't sleep as my mind was still buzzing with the excitement of my evening. I love my book club!
Anthony De Sa dot com
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Afraid of Karma
Published April 8, 2009 @ 13:25 in Being Mommy
This morning I took the subway with the nicest people in the world!
As soon as I walked on with Son Two, a student got up and offered me his seat. It was busy - morning rush hour. I said thank you and sat down, holding onto my son between my knees. A few stops later, a man got on with a cane. I got up and gave him my seat. Then three more men offered me their seats!
I rode the subway downtown when I was 9 months pregnant with Son One. When I was feeling especially tired, I would open my jacket and stick my big belly extra far out (he was 9 lbs, so I had a lot of belly.) Maybe twice I remember being offered a seat.
This morning I was sitting with Son Two on my knee, when he said, "Mommy, I am thirsty. I want some water."
"Sweetheart," I said, "I don't have any, but I can get you some when we get off, OK?"
One of the men who had offered me his seat took an unopened bottle of water from his bag and gave it to my son. I tried to say no thank you, but he insisted and my son was already reaching for it.
I couldn't believe it! Everyone was smiling, helpful and amazing.
Still in my stupor about the wonderfulness of my morning ride, I turned the karma around so it can come back to bite me on the ass later. While walking to the subway after our appointment, a young woman approached me with a hard luck story about losing her TTC Metropass and asking for money. I turned her down.
There are so many reasons why I said no. First, it is my pavlovian response to any request for money. Beyond that there were a number of things I found odd about the request: she was heading away from the subway; and, she looked like a university student (couldn't she ask a friend or classmate?)
Really, I don't like being asked for money by people on the street. As she walked away I felt really bad. I could have given her $3 for the subway. I could have told her I had no tokens, but if she walked with me to the subway I would pay her fare. It would have been a small price for me to repay the kindness of the morning ride.
When you hear stories of Toronto the bad, think of me. I was lucky with generosity and kindness just hours before I shot some girl down for a request of aid. I talk to my kids about being nice and helpful, and then I put my head down and walk on. I guess I sort of suck, and I am sure karma will find me.
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My Daughter - My Shadow
Published April 8, 2009 @ 08:15 in Amazing Kids, Being Mommy
Before motherhood, I was a staunch believer of "nurture" over "nature" especially when it cam to girls and boys. I now admit that I was completely wrong!
I came from a family of three girls. We could do anything. Thank goodness we didn't have a brother, because I think my father had just enough chauvinist in him that the inequality would have meant war.
Because of coming from so much estrogen, I was surprised when I had a son. Thrilled, but shocked. My father even said, "But we don't have boys!" Now we do - not only do I have two sons, one sister has a son and the other has three!
Husband wanted a girl. All of his friends had daughters, so it was what he knew. They seemed so sweet, gentle and loving. We had two boys, then a girl. We didn't keep trying for a girl - we knew we wanted three of four kids. After Daughter, it was Husband's decision to stop.
I have heard studies supporting the differences between boys and girls even as infants. Apparently, their little bodies produce their first hormones at around 12 weeks, and it is either estrogen or testosterone - so everything changes after that. The other study I heard is that boys, when they learn to crawl, crawl away from their mothers; girls crawl around them.
Really, I don't know if it is true, but in terms of my relationships with my kids, they are different. The boys love me, I still steal kisses and hold hands, and can sometimes get cuddles, especially when they are sick. However my daughter is like my third limb.
We are attached in a way that the boys never were - sometimes I don't know where I end and she begins. There is an intimacy between us that I find shocking. If I am sitting, she is on my lap. If I am lying down, she is on top of me. She strokes my hair, my cheeks. She wraps her little arms tight around my neck, and wants to fall asleep like that, cheek to cheek. If she wakes up in the night and notices that I am not near her (because I have lifted her to her own bed when she fell asleep), she comes into my room, kicks Daddy out of the bed, and resumes her place intertwined with me.
My daughter is in the bathroom with me every time. Last week she pulled up her little stool and sat there for my entire shower (she thought she was getting a puppet show.) She offers to wipe my bum - I decline. She picks out my clothes and wants to help me get dressed - she wants to fasten my bra. She has "helped" me put on my make-up. I am sure that some anthropologist would have something to say about her imitation being important to her learning how to become a woman.
Daughter treats my stuff like her own, and me as an extension of her. I get enough "I love yous," hugs and kisses every day to know that I am loved by at least one of my children.
Sometimes it gets to be too much. I feel my body reaching, trying to detach, looking for freedom from the little, warm 30 lb lump.
Then I am in the grocery store, and daughter wants to be carried AGAIN. A man looks at me with sadness in his eyes. "My daughter is 13. I wish I could still pick her up and carry her around."
Really? I think. Then would you mind picking up my daughter and carrying her around so that I can get my grocery shopping done?
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Motherhood on Oprah
Published April 7, 2009 @ 17:40 in Being Mommy
I was so excited to hear Oprah doing a show on Motherhood. Usually I don't get to watch Oprah, though I love her, however today I had it all planned out.
I brought up three loads of laundry that needed folded and sorted, so that I would have an excuse to "slack" for an hour. After picking up the Son One, I got the three kids a snack and sent them on their way with instructions not to bother me unless someone was bleeding or the house was on fire (I know - more than a little extreme for Oprah!)
Upstairs in my room, I started folding. 3:58 pm. I turned on the TV and set it to channel eight. 4:00 pm: Intro. with Dr. Oz and some other guy? Huh? Blue zones? What the heck?
TODAY IS TUESDAY? But I have been planning on watching Monday's episode for DAYS!
I don't know how I missed it. I had it planned so well. The Oprah episode I wanted to watch was on yesterday. Really, if Oprah cared about mothers, she would run it everyday for a week so that we would be sure to catch it. I know - her viewers in the US all have TiVO.
At my computer, I watched what I could and read the details from her website. But it just wasn't the same! Plus I can't fold the laundry while sitting at the computer, so it was pure indulgence without even the facade of doing housework.
In case you missed it, the message of the show seemed to be that women are ignorant of the truth of motherhood until they have children. It is like this secret club that once you are in, you get. However no one will tell you the gory details of motherhood - you have to learn it for yourself.
Are we secretive? I don't know. I feel like I regularly share a little too much, not just on this blog, but my friends get even more gory details.
If you are a woman thinking of becoming a mom, here are a few of my secret gory details:
Your body will change. Not for the better.
You won't sleep peacefully, for at least 18 years.
Your sex life will change. Not for the better.
You come last.
You have to learn to hold your pee for a very long time, except those muscles are gone 'cause you've had kids.
You will lost all modesty.
You will never eat a hot meal again.
You will wash your hands so much the skin peels off.
You will get every cold and stomach virus that goes around.
Your workload will triple - at least.
You will deal with far too much bodily fluid. If you are brave, you can joke.
You will feel trapped and want to run away at some poin
You may want to hurt your children.
At some point, no matter how wonderful he is, you will hate your husband.
I know there are lots of wonderful things, I just thought I would dwell on the negatives today because the positives are so much harder to state. Besides, they are not nearly as much fun.
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Is there something in the air?
Published April 7, 2009 @ 11:23 in Amazing Kids
My kids are crazy today - well, at least two of them are. I can't figure out what is going on!
Son One woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Happens sometimes, even we thought we had solved the problem by pushing his bed up against the wall so that there is only one side he could get out. Still seems to be the wrong side some days. This morning, Husband had to pick him up and remove him from the breakfast table for a time-out when he wasn't happy with his cereal bowl.
Daughter has been screaming and crying in the basement for the past 20 minutes. I think I cut her toast wrong, or she wanted "regular" bread not rye, or something. She is completely inconsolable.
I blame the weather. The spring tease followed by the surprise mini-attack by winter. It must confuse their inner cycles, turning them crazy. I am trying to ignore it.
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What Happened to Spring?
Published April 6, 2009 @ 14:48 in Amazing Kids, Kids Activities
Here are some pictures we took yesterday, when it was spring. What happened? It is cold, wet and snowy today. At least I have the pictures and the memories.
New Rollerblades: $210
Helmets, protective gear: $100
Tinkerbell Light-up bike helmet: $30
Princess bike basket: $7.99
Watching the kids enjoy spring: Priceless?
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funny kids
Published April 6, 2009 @ 13:54 in Amazing Kids, Loving Daddy
Husband, still trying to recover from his illness yet determined to get to work, was snoozing on the couch. Why he didn't want to stay in bed upstairs and be left alone, it a mystery.
Son Two decided to walk along the back of the couch, and jump onto Husband's head.
Husband grabbed Son Two in a bear hug, tickling and kissing him.
Son Two yells, "Daddy! Daddy! I can't breathe! I can't breathe!" Thus illustrating that he could, in fact, breathe.
Daughter, concerned about her brother's safety (yet not actually concerned enough to stop playing and come to his aid) says, "He could die, right?" (Note: this really was said with concern, and not glee as it may have been said if Son One was home.)
True, daughter, if you can't breathe you can die.
Son Two is fine. Husband has gone off to work. Daughter is still playing.
This is a fairly typical 5 minutes out of my day.
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What Kids Notice
Published April 6, 2009 @ 11:10 in Amazing Kids, My Rules
Today while walking through the underground on the way to the subway with Son Two, I noticed a man sitting on a little stool.
This was an older man, grizzly with a full grey shaggy beard and head of hair. He was wearing a normal-looking parka, but I could see his ass.
He wore white, fishnet stockings with faux garters, and a white thong. His stockings were footless, so he wore white ankle socks with silver flats. He was pretty hairy, and with the lack of butt in the tights, you could see everything.
As we walked by, I held my son's hand a little tighter. I could see him staring, and was a little concerned.
Son Two: Mommy - that man is eating ice cream right out of the container!
I looked over, and yes, he was eating from a two litre container of vanilla ice cream.
Son Two: He'd better eat it all.
The rule in our house is that if there is only a little ice cream left, you can eat if directly form the container with a spoon. The man had obviously just bought the ice cream at the ValueMart, but he did look like he could finish it.
This is why kids are wonderful. We can walk past a girl with a bright pink mohawk wearing what looks like an old wedding dress and they say nothing; but see a nicely dressed gentleman who happens to be bald and they yell out, "Hey look! That man has no hair!"
Or today, you see a man with his bum hanging out wearing fishnets, silver shoes and a thong, and they notice that he is eating ice cream without a bowl.
Either we are raising really non-judgmental children, or hopelessly unobservant kids.
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I am so tired!
Published April 4, 2009 @ 19:57 in Kids Activities, Loving Daddy
Woke up this morning tired just thinking about what we had to do today.
Last night I made Husband a detailed list of who goes where, when, and what equipment they require. I even printed out a couple of maps for different arenas we would need to go to for various activities.
Our Saturday included:
One hockey practice
Three hockey games for Son One, plus One for Son Two
One lacrosse skills practice each for Son One and Son Two
Four different arenas visited
Unfortunately, Husband caught a version of our plague, so I was on my own with the three of them for most day. Needless to say, I am really, really tired. And I wasn't even the one playing lacrosse and hockey, I just had to watch!
Husband and I had plans to go out on a date tonight. I can't remember our last date night, but I seem to think it was sometime in January. I'm pretty sure that he didn't get sick just to get out of it.
Now it is Saturday night, and I am home with three very tired children and a sick husband instead of being out dancing with a glass or two of wine. This is what I signed up for, isn't it?
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Shoes and shopping
Published April 4, 2009 @ 08:38 in Loving Daddy, Shopping and Stuff
Growing up, I remember my father often walking into our entrance way and asking if we were having a shoe sale. My foyer is smaller, but I think we have almost the same number of shoes.
I like shoes, but I am no Carrie Bradshaw. Last night I realized a key difference between my husband and I, and it is shoes.
I don't know exactly how many pairs of shoes I have (I would guess in the 25-40 pair range). I do know that I have bought five pairs since February. I have enough shoes, but I still literally dream of finding the perfect pair of black pumps (earlier this week - it was actually a nightmare! I was in a church bazaar like store with long tables, looking for black shoes.) My perfect black pumps would be about 3 inch heels, with an almond toe, and either patent leather or faux croc. I have running shoes for running, casual running shoes for walking, casual shoes, casual dress shoes, dress shoes, pumps, wedges, peep-toes, flip-flops, high-heeled boots, and winter boots.
Husband owns 6 pairs of footwear (only three of them shoes):
1) Sorels - real winter boots for playing in the snow with the kids
2) Lace-up winter boots - for going places in the winter that doesn't require the Sorels
3) Brown, casual lace-up shoes - for every day
4) Running shoes - for running, or athletic activities with the kids
5) Sandals
6) Black dress shoes - he wears these every day to work. All of his suits go with black. Monday to Friday. 9 hours a day. Same shoes.
I guess this goes back to the opposites attract thing. Daughter and Son One have inherited my love of footwear. Son Two is his father's son.
Shoes and shopping go hand in hand. Those of us in my house who like shoes, also like to shop. Those who don't care about shoes, don't shop.
My mother remembers buying Son Two a jacket at the Gap. He had a hand-me-down from his older brother, and Nana found a nice one and a good deal. Son Two looked at it and said, "A jacket? I already got one."
By the way, I recently discovered that I have 6 winter jackets or coats.
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Haircuts
Published April 3, 2009 @ 11:16 in Amazing Kids, Being Mommy
I need a new hairstyle. A good friend, whom I love and trust, told me the other night that I need to invest in a quality (ie: expensive) haircut. I haven't had my hair done since November. B.K. (before kids) I had my hair highlighted and cut regularly. Now I don't have the time, the money, or the interest in maintenance. Am I destined to become a frumpy mummy, nominated for some reality show like 10 Years Younger?
Daughter has never had a hair style. I am starting to think that it may be time for a mother / daughter day at the hairdresser.
Any thoughts? Suggestions? Ideas? How young it too young for a style?
Here's some pictures I just took of my little raggamuffin.
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Spring Awakening and Maclean's
Published April 3, 2009 @ 10:33 in Amazing Kids
Saw it. Loved it. Amazing. Need I say more?
Of course I will!
Spring Awakening is currently playing at the Canon Theater in Toronto. In case you haven't heard of it, here is some information from the website:
SPRING AWAKENING takes its inspiration from one of literature's most controversial masterpieces - a work so daring in its depiction of teenage self-discovery, it was banned from the stage and not performed in its complete form in English for nearly 100 years.
It's Germany, 1891. A world where the grown-ups hold all the cards. The beautiful young Wendla explores the mysteries of her body, and wonders aloud where babies come from, till Mama tells her to shut it, and put on a proper dress.
Elsewhere, the brilliant and fearless young Melchior interrupts a mind-numbing Latin drill to defend his buddy Moritz - a boy so traumatized by puberty he can't concentrate on anything. Not that the Headmaster cares. He strikes them both and tells them to turn in their lesson.
One afternoon - in a private place in the woods - Melchior and Wendla meet by accident, and soon find within themselves a desire unlike anything they've ever felt.
As they fumble their way into one another's arms, Moritz flounders and soon fails out of school. When even his one adult friend, Melchior's mother, ignores his plea for help, he is left so distraught he can't hear the promise of life offered by his outcast friend Ilse.
Naturally, the Headmasters waste no time in pinning the "crime" of Moritz's suicide on Melchior and expel him. And soon Mama learns her little Wendla is pregnant. Now the young lovers must struggle against all odds to build a world together for their child.
It is a teen drama, with abuse, incest, suicide, sexual awakening, teen pregnancy, abortion, homosexuality, run away, and alcohol abuse. Sounds a little heavy? It's not. I found it beautiful. The most amazing thing is that it was written in the 1890s! Brought to life for today's teen with a great score that I actually bought on my way out. (WARNING: There is profanity, sexuality, and a little nudity - really nothing more than plumber's butt.)
Yesterday I also received my Maclean's, with the headline OMG!!! What Happened to Teenagers? The articles look at how teens are doing in Canada, based on a survey called, "Project Teen Canada."
If you are a parent of a teen, go and see Spring Awakening and pick up this week's Maclean's. It will give you the ability to talk to them about so many issues, as well as remind you of what they are going through. I think you will be optimistic about this stressful and challenging time.
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Another Blow
Published April 2, 2009 @ 18:48 in Being Mommy, Shopping and Stuff
Yes, another blow to my week. I have "misplaced" my sunglasses.
Those who know me know I love sunglasses. It is my usual purchase on vacation, especially if I can score a great pair in duty free. Alas, I have a long history of losing or breaking sunglasses.
Favourite pairs of the past include a pair of Vuarnets that were broken on some moguls I had no business trying to ski. Next were the best of all time - a pair of Guccis bought with a signing bonus. Left on the floor by Son One and stepped on by my father. I almost cried. The last pair to go were Versace. Daughter grabbed each of the arms and pulled like a wishbone, "broken!" she announced, proud at age two to get the word right.
Now my Maui Jims. I wore them to take Son One to school this morning, and now I can't find them anywhere.
I have an old pair of Dolce & Gabbana, but honestly they make crap sunglasses.
I hope to find them soon. And I am sort of glad it is supposed to rain tomorrow 'cause I may not miss them quite so much.
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He's ready to go back to school
Published April 2, 2009 @ 13:44 in School
This week has been a challenge. First the plague, then the fleas, now ants. I had the exterminator/husband's best childhood-friend here this morning to help deal with the ants and the fleas. Now I just have to get the other "pests" out of the house - the kids.
All week most of us have been home due to illness. In fact, both boys haven't been out of the house at the same time since Saturday. I haven't slept through the night since Friday, and my cheery veneer of determination is wearing thin.
Last night, another night of musical beds, found me in Daughter's room. Unfortunately Daughter, trying to get over her plague, slept until 10:30 am then napped for three hours. After sleeping 17 of the past 24 hours, she decided that last night was her turn to tell stories. She talked, babbled, and chatted to herself until 1 am! Then she rolled over at 5:30 am this morning and chatted like she had never slept.
I decided that it was time to send Son One back to school when he had returned to his regular routine of harassing his brother and sister. Son Two stayed home again today, and I am not sure if I will bother sending him tomorrow as he is still feverish.
Every time the phone rings, I expect it to be a truancy officer calling to explain that school is actually compulsory (Son One is missing tomorrow for another hockey tournament - first game he is on the ice at 8 am!)
This morning I couldn't figure out how the water dispenser on the fridge worked. I called husband at work to tell him it was broken. I had all of the kids drink tap water, until Son One decided to try it with his hand, not a cup, and sprayed water all over himself. I guess it is working, and I don't know if it was every broken, or if it was just me.
I am so tired that my head hurts and coffee isn't helping. I just tried to convince Daughter and Son Two that a nap would be in all of our best interests, but they didn't bite. After this post I am sneaking away to my bedroom, with my wonderful black-out blinds and catching 40 winks. I have an hour until I have to pick up Son One from school.
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Push-Push, Pressure-Pressure, Our kids are going to blow!
Published April 2, 2009 @ 07:33 in Kids Activities
Am I the only parent who feels like we are pushing our kids to do too much too fast? So much pressure! Such high expectations! Are we creating a super generation? Or maybe just a bunch of kids who will soon be ready for the therapist's couch?
This year I officially learned of an occurrence in sports called, "playing up." This is where kids play with the group ahead of them, the older kids. In theory, these kids are so skilled that they would outplay everyone in their own age group, having an unfair advantage or learning little, and instead they learn superior skills and get challenged by the older kids.
Does this sound crazy to anyone but me? First of all, often these kids are pushed up by their parents who either believe their child to be of superior skill or they have an elder child so it is just more convenient.
If the child is truly of superior skill - more power to them! I would think that they would benefit more (by the boost in confidence) by being the best player on a team of their peers, rather than being a mediocre or good player with a bunch of older kids. Plus there may be pressure on them that they are not mature enough to handle.
I've noticed such a difference, not just in skill level, but in an understanding of rules, strategy and sportsmanship in kids as they age, more associated with maturity.
Parents also need to consider the feelings of the older sibling who is constantly subjected to a younger sibling. Please give them each their space, and the opportunity to achieve individual without competition or comparison.
I wonder if part of the pushing, and the bending of the rules, comes because many of our generation assume themselves superior. We are impatient, aggressive, and like to be first. Now we push our kids to be the same. Are those really qualities we want to instill? It seems like every parents is asking for special permission to push their child ahead, and they expect to get it.
Son Two is born on January 2nd. Thirty-two hours earlier, and he would now be in SK instead of JK, and could be in many of Son One's activities. My OB wanted him to be born December 26th (he was a booked c-section), but I asked it we could wait until the new year.
People thought I was being silly - why not have him a year earlier? One less of year of daycare to pay for, off to school one year earlier - Husband always answered, "Yes, and off to work one year sooner - what are we rushing him for?" Also, December boys tend to take, on average, until Grade Four to catch up to their classmates. Why start them behind the 8 ball like that? Isn't it easier on them to be the biggest, smartest kid in their class than the opposite?
We have had stellar parent / teacher conferences with Son Two's teacher this year. She keeps going on and on about how he does this at an SK level and that at a SK level. Yes, but had he been born two days earlier, we may have been having very different conversations a year ago.
I think adding all of this pressure to our kids is because we parents are so competitive with one another. My kid is better than your kid therefore I am better than you. How silly are we?
So we put a six year old on the ice with a bunch of seven and eight year olds, because he can skate like the wind. Except the seven and eight year olds have an extra 20 pounds on them, and they know that sometimes it is better to pass. Or we put a five year old on a field with six and seven year olds because he really loves soccer, but he won't actually get to touch the ball. And don't get me started on parents who actually lie about their kids ages or birthdays.
Parents - please stop the insanity! Let your kids grow up and develop at their own pace with their peer group (I don't know about you, but my kids are already growing up too fast). One of the greatest things both husband and I remember from sports was the friends we made on our teams, easier when we are the same age instead of the little kid sitting at the end of the bench because his parents know the convener.
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And now we have fleas...
Published April 1, 2009 @ 11:36 in Around the House
Damn cat. Damn, damn cat.
I thought that we started flea treatment in April. But last week Son One noticed a weird bite. A few days later I swear I saw something hop from where the cat was sleeping.
I treated Merlin with his Advantage. First bad allergies and asthma (I actually get hives regularly) now fleas. It is time to get rid of the cat. It is the rif-raf he is associating with; this morning I saw one of his "friends" hanging out on the front porch when I went to take out the green bin and recycling. She had skank written all over her (or she may just have been wet from the rain. Am I being too harsh?)
Merlin will be 13 years-old later this month. He looks pretty good for his age, but I have already promised the allergist that he will not be replaced. I love him, and he really is a super sweet cat. He is nice to the kids, and very affectionate. I just don't like the fleas.
This is Merlin, currently sleeping under my bed. The bed is stripped, the mattress has been Lysoled, and the sheets are in a hot wash with an extra rinse. If it isn't the plague, then it's fleas. What else do I have to look forward to?
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The Plague! The Plague!
Published April 1, 2009 @ 08:28 in Being Mommy
*****WARNING - DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE A SENSITIVE STOMACH*****
Remember Son One sick all Saturday night? It wasn't exhaustion nor over exertion, it was the plague. A highly contagious gastrointestinal virus.
He was just starting to heal Monday. Monday night, 8 pm, it struck again. Me.
The main problem was that Monday night I had a delicious dinner - angel hair pasta with smoked salmon and dill, with cheesecake for dessert. It will now go down in my memory as one of the worst meals to see twice.
As I worshiped at the porcelain throne, made by Kohler, I heard Daughter start; first crying, then coughing, then the gag. I couldn't get up! I couldn't help her.
Husband stripped her bed, started the laundry, and sat up with her most of the night while I continued, throwing up every half hour until 6 am. Daughter had the mildest form of the plague - she threw up just three times! I, on the other hand, can't remember when I last felt so sick. I lost count somewhere after the 7th or 8th vomit. It seemed like every half hour or so my stomach would fill with just enough bile and saliva to turn itself inside out and empty again.
Tuesday I was so sore I couldn't get out of bed. Husband took the day off to manage the home. At three pm I was starting to feel a little better, so I left my bed for a banana. Husband took the three children outside for some fresh air. Half way through my banana, I heard a knock on the door.
I went to answer it, and couldn't figure out why Son Two didn't just open it himself; it wasn't locked. I opened the door, Son Two stepped inside, and started throwing up. And throwing up. And throwing up.
I stripped him down and took him upstairs to clean him up, put on his pajamas, and get him into bed. Husband, was yet again, in charge of the nasty clean-up.
Husband has been such a trooper this week. He has been responsible for some of the worst clean-ups this house has ever seen. And so far, he is the only one who hasn't had the plague! He says he is fine, but I think he is going to get it right before our date on Saturday night (anything to get out of dancing.)
Son One lost almost 6 pounds with his illness! Of course, he didn't need to lose any. I, on the other hand, need to lose 10. I lost one. This plague isn't even fair!
I was tempted to make a list of the worse meals to eat before coming down with the stomach flu, but I decided it was gross enough just reading about how ill we have all been. Instead I am going to list my goals for today:
1) Shower the vomit smell out of my hair
2) Air the vomit smell out of my house
3) Find anything that still smells like vomit, and wash it
Wish me luck. And beware the plague!
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