Entry FeedAt book club we don't just talk about the book. Last night our topics ranged from the War in Afghanistan to whether Ben Affleck was hitting the bottle before Jennifer Garner.
A topic we just touched in near the end was assisted fertility, in light of octomom in the news.
Husband and I each have two sisters, and we all have at least 2 children. When I delivered my daughter in the hospital, we were the only family in private rooms to have one child. The rest were twins, and the dads were talking about their fertility treatments in the hallway. When my sisters came to visit, one pregnant, the other with two children plus my two boys, one of the father's commented how lucky we were to be such a fertile family.
I am not sure luck had much to do with it. My sisters and I, as well as my husband's two sisters, all had our first children before our 30th birthdays. My sisters and I went to University, had careers, and got married before becoming pregnant.
I think the only way we were lucky is that we met wonderful men early enough in life. Either that or we made certain decisions. There was an article published in the Atlantic last year about making the case for marrying Mr. Right now instead of waiting for Mr. Right. It resonated with me, but that is a topic for another day.
Are there young women with fertility issues? Definitely. But I would guess that their numbers are much smaller than those of women trying to conceive after their thirtieth birthdays.
I think that our bodies, over the millennia, have developed so that the optimal decade for having children is our twenties. Yes, I know we are fertile sooner, but there is something to do with teens and lower body fats and continued growth, that actually make it not desirable.
Am I glad that options exist out there to help women have babies? Yes. I think motherhood is the greatest gift.
However I think that it needs to be more closely monitors and regulated. Shows like Jon and Kate plus 8 make a celebrity out of multiples, and deranged people like octomom want their 15 minutes of fame. Jon and Kate admit to using fertility drugs to conceive first their twins, later their sextuplets. IVF is actually a more controlled form of treatment, which is why Nadya shouldn't have been implanted with six embryos.
The numbers of assisted fertility multiples are on the rise, and it costs all of us. It is more dangerous both for the mother, and for the babies. The estimation is that the octoplets birth and hospital stay will cost the tax payers of California close to $3 million. Not to mention the long term health issues.
People desperate for children have their judgment clouded; questing for babies is so emotional it overrides logically decision making. Women are pushing for fertility drugs sooner, often lying to doctors about how long they have been trying to conceive (we are type A - used to control and not waiting for what we want.) Selective reduction is an option few, if any, parents choose, even though medically it can improve the outcomes for the surviving children.
Sometimes my Catholic roots are strong. Whatever God gives us. Whether that be many, or none. However I am prochoice - and believe strongly in a woman's right to make choices about her own fertility. See? Not black and white.
I am torn, and think we need more conversations for the sake of our children. I hope that every woman in her desire for motherhood gets that opportunity. However, I wish that we were content with one baby! All healthy births are something to celebrate. Twins, triplets and more - doesn't make you any more special, just busier, and it increases your risks.
I think fertility doctors need to put the best interest of their patients ahead of their fertility stats. Many do. However does our government have to get involved with heavier regulations? Should our health care be paying for fertility treatments? Should selective reductions over 3 embryos be mandatory? Should you have to undergo psychiatric evaluation before treatment? Lots of questions, and no right answers.
Good points! I think some people are more concerned with the pregnancy and giving birth than the actual parenting...why don't more people open their hearts to adoption?
My sister, neice, best friend and 2 cousins are adopted and adoption is as much of a bond and miracle for any family as biology.