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Published March 10, 2009 @ 07:40 by Tania in Being Mommy

Seven years ago right now I was lying in a hospital bed crying.

My water had broken 27 hours earlier, and I was at 4.5 cm. The baby wasn't coming down and was sometimes in distress. I had just thrown up the bile from my empty stomach. I hadn't slept since I went to bed on Friday night and woke up with my water breaking. It was Sunday morning, and I wasn't sure how much more I could take.

My husband left to grab breakfast at McDonalds. Then the nurse came in and informed me that the doctors decided I would need a c-section. When she realized Husband was gone, she said we could wait for him, as long as the baby was OK.

I asked if I could have a gingerale with ice when it was all over. She said of course. I also asked if I needed to be shaved, "down there." She said no. I was exhausted - those were really the only thoughts going through my mind.

When Husband came back, so did my OB, a resident, a medical student, an anaesthetist, and my nurse. They were ready. Husband dressed in scrubs.

They wheeled my into a OR and within minutes delivered a baby boy. 9 lbs 2 oz. He was beautiful. Absolutely perfect. I cried. I was exhausted. I was thrilled. I was a mommy.

Seven years ago today I started this journey into Motherhood. You can't find the words to describe what it means to be a mother, how it changes your life until you first forget who you are, then realize that it doesn't matter because you are someone new.

You understand why mother bears do everything to protect their cubs. You cry when someone looks at your child the wrong way. When you realize that your child is less than perfect, it breaks your heart.

Today is my son's seventh birthday. I can't believe I have a seven-year-old! Really, I look much too young. But here it is. Seven years of bliss, dotted with agonizing moments of pain. I love you, Birthday Boy. Happy Birthday!