Entry FeedThe past few weeks have seen some interesting fertility stories in the news. I believe in a woman's complete right over her own body, especially when it comes to procreation. However, like Spiderman, we women have to "remember: with great power comes great responsibility."
The first story was Nadya Suleman, the single mother who now has 14 children. I think that whoever treated her should lose their license to practice medicine. She was in no position to raise the 6 children she already had, living in a 3 bedroom home with her divorced parents. But 8 more? She needs help - I think the psychiatric kind.
I love children, but as mothers we know the commitment required to raise even one. There is no was that Nadya will have the time, energy, and resources to give those children what they need. And I think that shows like Jon and Kate plus 8, which I try never to watch, market the idea of a large family making it more aspirational.
In my opinion, she is selfish and immature, and unfair to those children. They will likely not get what they need and what they deserve.
Closer to home, we have the oldest mother in Canadian history giving birth to twins in Calgary. Ranjit Hayer traveled to India to receive in-vitro. Even though her Canadian doctors refused initially fertility treatments because of her age, I applaud them for the professionalism they showed in ensuring that she and her babies had the best care possible when Mrs. Hayer returned to Canada.
In this case Mrs. Hayer is married, and has the support of not only her husband, but also an extended family. And they have been trying for 43 years.
However, I still think of the children. I look at my parents, grandparents in their 50s, with lots of energy to babysit, but no where near enough to be raising two babies. It is also unfair to think of these children having to take care of very geriatric parents, and likely orphaned in their teens. The decision was selfish.
I guess my definition of motherhood includes putting my children's needs before my own. Whether it is letting them eat the best pieces of chicken and drinking the last of the milk, to putting them to bed instead of watching my show, to saving for their educations and putting them in programs to help them get a head start in life, to keeping myself fit and healthy so that I can be there for them for a long time.
These mothers didn't put their children's needs before their own desires. But I still hope that it all works out for the best - for the sake of the children.
Biology is the least of what makes someone a mother.
Oprah Winfrey